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Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Ritz Crackers... 'cause it's cold, son!

I wonder if my home owner's insurance covers against snow damage...

It snows in Norway.  A lot.

But I didn't write this entry to waste your time with information you already knew.

It's just... you don't realize how much "a lot" is until you're staring out a window on Saint Patrick's Day and there's 10 inches of the white stuff (fresh from a weekend onslaught) wishing you a "top o' the morning!"

But it's not just the snow, its cold, too.  How cold is it?  I've rarely worn a hat and gloves during the winter time for most of my life (I have a mother worn thin from 20+ winters of worry who can attest to this fact), but I almost refuse to step outside here unless my hat and gloves are on (in fact, I have several back-ups just in case I'm in a rush and can't find the primary).

As I'm writing this, its snowing!  To be clear, I'm not complaining, but "it takes some getting use to" is a vast understatement.

So.  What does that do to one's psyche?

It can cause depression (Which isn't just for us foreigners, its the reason why Norwegians take fish oil... Vitamin D is the cure!).

Though, more likely, it can cause what I call "want reallocation".  For example, the other day, I really wanted some mango sorbet (odd, right?).  Instead of venturing the eight blocks to the store that may have it (I'd say 50-50 shot), I went the block and a half to the store that really had no shot of having it and settled for Ritz crackers and Strawberry jam.

That's just what happens when cold is factored in the equation.  

Another example: We live within a three block radius of four, awful pizza places (I can't underscore how dreadful pizza can be here here) and about a twenty minute bus ride from an outstanding pizza place.  I will give you zero guesses on how many times we've gone to the good place since winter has taken hold because the answer is zero.

Norwegians will scoff at you and tell you its not cold, but they're lying.  They wear big coats and complain about the weather (I'm pretty sure "weather" is the #1 casual conversation topic).  I actually base my clothing decisions on how Norwegians dress.  Before going out, I'll watch people walking outside from the window.  If people have jackets unzipped, I just wear a hat and coat;  If they have jackets zipped and scarves, I wear hat and gloves; If I see women wearing hats and men walking briskly, I stay inside (because women NEVER wear hats here and no one EVER, EVER walks briskly... if I see that it must mean some "Day After Tomorrow"-ness is going down.  That's how people get bronchitis... No thank you).

Unfortunately, I don't have a choice as I'm now all out of Ritz crackers.


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