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Thursday, April 18, 2013

Return of the Bieber and a Champion

Norway is a confusing place.

Statue from Vingeland Park
For as many similarities as there are to the states, there are that many differences.

But, when it comes to teen heartthrobs, there is no culture gap.  Which is a shame because Norway has produced such great pop music... ABBA, Miike Snow,  Ace of Base, First Aid Kit (wait... those are all Swedish?!?!  Oh.  Well, there's always A-HA).

Above is the scene from last year when Bieber blessed Oslo with his bangs.  As I informed you all, dear readers, it was a catastrophe.  The mayor hid in a retail store to avoid being trampled by hordes of Norwegian tweens chasing their idol.  Traffic was disrupted for hours.  Police were outnumbered and overrun (I swear, I think there was an hour or two of martial law declared).  It was pure chaos.

So how could the Biebs possibly top that?

He threw three, back-to-back-to-back concerts that created such a demand that they not only sold out in minutes, but causes school districts to re-arrange their testing dates.  Caught off-guard and slightly embarrassed, Oslo's finest vowed to take their revenge (ok... they didn't come off as menacing, but it was the general sentiment).

How did it go?

Well, it was interesting...

Things started off in favor of the Bieberization when his bodyguard instagrammed a picture of himself getting a haircut which lead to a lot of "likes", "favorites", and "retweets".  Additionally, the impromptu photo session lead to said barbershop being swamped with the pre-pubescent.   No word on whether the establishment has been able to air out the smell of Chanel Jr. and Lil' Dior Miss.  (On a sidenote, please check out the Team Swaggy bodyguard's twitter... talk about taking yourself too seriously).

Anyway, things only got more hectic from there.  A day before the shows were to start, a poor, background dancer (a deacon in the Church of Bieber, but a celebrity to Bielibers), was accosted while going for a drink at a local convenience store.  At this point, with the concert about to kick-off, the men and women in light bluish-grey decided to step up their game.

Over 66,000 descended upon the 20,000ish capacity stadium.  The cops were ready, the ticket takers were sorta ready, Team Swaggy was ready.  And so it went...

Did the police crack down or did they catch Beauty and a beat?  I'd call it a draw.

While there were no elected officials whose safety and health were threatened by hormonal adolescents drawn to their obsession, there were numerous injuries and mild catastrophe reported.  Though, the official spokesman for the Kommune Koppers issued a statement that sounded more like they had withstood an invading army.

Which, is fair, seeing how, in the end, the chaos left one, poor Bieberian in a coma.

28-0, 6 KOs
So yeah... Bieber in Norway is no joke.

In other news, I would like to give a special kudos to Norwegian boxer, Cecilia Brækhus.  She beat Mia St. John, the former Super Welterweight champion, over the weekend by TKO.  With the victory, Brækhus retained her WBA, WBO, WPBF, and WBC welterweight titles.  At 28-0, she is one of the best, pound-for-pound fighters in the world.  A fact made even more remarkable due to the fact that Norway is one of a handful of countries with a ban on Professional Boxing.

She is also an accomplished kickboxer and has been dabbling in muay thai and may take her talents to the UFC.  Would definitely be a step up in competition (which, she hasn't gotten much of in her rampage through the boxing world) and probably an improvement in pay (the fights preceding hers were a bunch of slow, has beens/never was/never will be's slapping at each other for four rounds).  It will be interesting to see how that goes as professional mixed martial arts is also illegal here (though, there's an organization with a snazzy Facebook page working on fixing that).

Here is usually where I would write "Alt for Norge", but, in light of the violence and attempted harm going on back in America (it feels weird to watch from abroad... it's almost like its happening on another planet), I decided to switch up the message...

"We must all learn to live together as brothers or die together as fools" - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Alt for fred... Peace for all


  1. From Bieber to Martin Luther King. Talk about contrasts. With Cecilia in between the gap is a little less wide.
    Unluckely, for every King there are a 1000 fools.

    1. I try to keep it eclectic for the readers! Thanks for reading, pal. You're right... Too many fools in the world... C'est la vie