Since I have been in Norway, one of the most reoccurring questions I get from Norwegians are "Do movies accurately depict American life? While that is kind of a crazy question (I almost don't bring up the fact that I lived in Baltimore lest I be lambasted with "The Wire" questions... Though, that's something I'm asked by anyone who has never been Charm City) the other prominent query is totally legitimate.
"What is the most noticeable difference between Norway and America?"
Obviously, the language is the first and foremost, but, most Norwegians speak English (to varying degrees... but that's another blog entry). There are numerous websites that will try and detail the major differences, but, for me, it comes down to food.
In addition to being one of the best Troy McClure shorts from, arguably, the best Simpsons' episode ever (Lisa becomes a Vegetarian... you still don't win friends with salad!), it is a great satire on the American cattle industry. Like all satire, definition-alert, it is grounded in truth (see: pink slime). We, as Americans, will eat anything with proper condiments on it. One of my new teammates, who is also from the states, recently related an antidote about buying burgers back home that were so saturated, they actually ripped through the bag (I won't name the chain that it came from for fear of legal action... *cough* Golden Arches *cough*).
Well, I survived the mountains and football (read about that experience on my other blog.) and I'm here to tell the tales.
Easter was swell...
Things I've learned about the west coast of Norway:
It is perpetually cold... even when the sun is shining and the skies are clear (not mutually inclusive items, mind you), it still feels pretty frigid. The North Sea is unkind, my friend... Though, I hear Vancouver is the same way.
It was great to eat some of the traditional, Norwegian Easter food (Lamb!) and see some of the nice statues along the beautiful harbors here.
I'm trying to help him lift the fish... I know, it looks weird
And, here are some of the other pictures of the beautiful, Norwegian landscape from the 7-hour cross country driving extravaganza!
Over the mountains and through the tundra...
My favorite picture of the whole trip... You can literally see where the tree line ends and where Winter is winning the war with Spring
Lonely cabin... I'm going to wager that there isn't indoor plumbing there
The car's thermometer read -2 C... which is "quite cold" in Fahrenheit. Check out the frozen, natural spring to the left
Up in the clouds like Darwin Deez (obscure musical reference alert!)
your humble host...
While I got the point right, I wasn't able to erase the goofy expression on my face. Oh well...
And that's that... Otherwise, its nothing that hasn't been told before. Awkward reunions of friends with new (or added) significant others where everyone makes small talk or plays "remember when..." or gossips. I find these times are vital for drinking beer and practicing my understanding Norwegian skills... one of those went really well and one of those went not as well. I'll let you guess on that one...
Ok... Since the Easter holiday is coming up (Spring Holiday Season for my non-Christian friends... God Påske), that means traveling for me and no regular post for you. I know, tragic. To ameliorate and assuage, I'm doing a mini-post.
Pictures! LOOK!
SMAK!
Here is a random bag of potato chips that my girlfriend/samboer/cohabitant/partner-in-mischief/brown derby debutante/maker of awesome foods like my cheesesteak from last post, purchased. These are not the "Ramen-flavored" chips of legend... though, they're pretty good, too. (On a side note, I have found that "Paprika" is like a dual encompassing word here to capture both the red and green peppers, while in bell-form, and the spice that comes from said peppers being rendered into ground form, plus chili pepper... yes, I had to look that up because I had no idea how Paprika was made, either).
Speaking of the lady, on Saturday, she took me to a concert of one of my new favorite artist, Jonas Alaska. I'm choosing to term him as "Indie Folk" and "awesome"... Here, have a listen for yourself.
yes, I understand why some of you are going, "Dude, he sounds like a Norwegian Conor Oberst". If you don't get that reference, consider yourself either "old" or "too cool for school", but not both... (fine, I will allow for a "I'm not American" to be another option, too)
I got a new haircut... there really isn't anything funny or noteworthy to remark about it, just thought I should mention. You can check it out below. Yes, I feel like it makes me look like I should be in YoungMoneyCashMoney, too... I hope I'd be more Tyga than Drake :(...
No, I'm not in Marvin's Room. Yes, that is Irish Spring Body Wash in the background... I don't have to defend it
So yeah... enjoy the next 10 days. When I check back in, you will have known that I survived the holiday (the trip consists of transversing the treacherous, snow-covered, Norwegian mountainous region) and the subsequent return to American Football (long story... probably will be told in detail on my other blog).
Nothing says home quite like home-made Cheesesteak!
Another week is in the books, dear friends. The highlight of the past seven days definitely has to be the home-made cheesesteak (hjemmelaget ostebiffsmørbrød) that was a perfect compliment to the unseasonable, good weather (is it a bad sign when 60 degrees in March is cause for celebration?) and good times. So thanks for that!
Now, as I've been here for a little over three months, I have accrued some questions from those of you back in the US of A... I thought I'd share some of them here.
Q: What are your plans for Summer?
- PY
Norges sommer er vakker
A: Hopefully, I will be employed and working. Additionally, I had been thinking of doing some traveling (I hear that Trondelag is nice this time of year!). However, after a few days of discussions, I have been invited to training camp for a Norwegian American Football team. So, that may be my summer extracurricular (No, it's not like their NFL. Its more recreational, but it is pads and tackles... I'll make sure to include plenty of updates on my sports blog.
Q: Where are the pics of you skiing?
- JO
A: Fine... here are two
Q: What was the craziest thing you've eaten since you've been there?
- ADJ
With brie on whole grain bread it is divine!
A: Sauna-cooked Moose heart... Though, aquavit salmon and other aquavit-infused meat is pretty out there, too. Though, things with aquavit tend to be more extreme.
Q: I don't really understand about the clothing. Do they dress just like us (Americans)?
- DS
A: I can't really explain this one... its hard because, well, I have NO fashion sense (which, in itself, I guess is a fashion style). Though, I will point out an oddity here in fashion that I find hilarious... A company here produces imitation letterman jackets... and they're a SMASH HIT!
Don't mind these patches that say "Boys Soccer State Champs 1980"
If that's not noteworthy enough, the material is not like that of the American forebear. These are cotton-blend, lightweight jackets as opposed to the wool-and-leather fall/winter overcoats. Also, a lot of them have patches that say things like "State Champs 1980" or "All-Conference Boys Basketball". Though, that shouldn't seem so strange since American Eagle, Aeropostale, and Old Navy have made a prosperous market out of doing the same thing with their clothing.
And that's that for this week (or whatever period of time before the next post)...
Remember, "Like" Oslost in Space on Facebook (Facebook.com/OSLOst) and post any questions on the wall and I will answer them (sooner or later).
Slow week on this end of the Atlantic... I think the most exciting thing that happened was going to the movies to see Hugo (it was outstanding! Thanks for asking!).
Whose ready for a movie? THIS GUY!
Contrary to Pulp Fiction, not every European film house serves beer (Oslo being in the non-serving company). Though, when one orders popcorn, unlike in America, where a teenager will, disinterestedly, scoop out day old popcorn from a huge tumbler and hand it to you; in Norway, they just have bucket upon bucket of popcorn, pre-scooped, sitting behind glass like they were sodas at a gas station shop.
That's another reoccurring theme here... they don't believe in the illusion. There's no presentation, it's just "here you go" (what do I mean by this? Another example, in the states, at Starbucks or most other drink shops, there's a high counter where the barista/server will disappear behind and "perform their magic" before returning with your drink. Here, the counter is low and there barista/server will hack and sloppily scoop/mix the ingredients before handing you your order. Also, whipped cream isn't part of the deal! Wars have started over less...)
Anyway, the inside of the theater looks relatively the same (not sure what I was expecting).
So that's that... and since I have nothing else funny to say, please enjoy some pictures I took while hanging out around town (no, these aren't all from the same day):
No... I didn't rent out the whole tram. It just feels that way. I spent the two stops when no one was on pretending I was Denzel Washington in that movie where the train is running away... That's how good that movie was, I can't even remember the name and don't feel like googling it to reference it. I'll stop typing now...
No... The city of Oslo is not in complete black and white. That would be cool, right? Anyway, here's a slightly creepy ad to drink more chocolate milk. Steers is pimps, too, go an' brush ya shoulder off!
This is like my Ken Burns' shot... I can almost hear soft, piano music accompanying this shot
No matter how many times I see it, I always trip when I come across the "random street going through a building" building
This graffiti artist does not care for children playing! Though, the one kid on the right looks like he's doing the running man.
That's it... oh, if I get enough questions, I will do a "Q&A" post next time. You can message/post the questions on my wall on Facebook (www.facebook.com/OSLOst)
In the spirit of March Madness (Way. To. Go. Wichita State...), I thought I'd take this post to share my recent brush with sports here in Norway.
So yes... I went to a Women's volleyball match.
Background: In my Norwegian language/culture courses, I have people from various places and, one of them, is a professional, female volleyball player from Poland.
Now, if you're like me (probably not), you're thinking "Wait, they have professional volleyball?".
Yes.
They just don't have it. There's a six-tier, professional league system here (similar to the international, promotion-relegation system of soccer... sorry, "football") in Norway. My fellow student starred for the club Oslo Volley, the reigning Scandinavian and Norwegian Open Tournament Champions.
However, they were tied in first place for the Norwegian Elite Series (Look, I know its confusing... Here. To be "Scandinavian Champions" they won a tournament, March Madness-style, against EVERY team in Scandinavia (Sweden, Norway, Denmark, and Iceland... why they'd fly Iceland in is anyone's guess). Norwegian Open Tournament consisted of every team in the six-tier, professional system in Norway and now, they were going for the championship of just their individual league, the elite series. The top league in Norway... sorry, confusing, I know)against the titans of Stod Valley.
I mean, STOD VALLEY!
Now... I won't get into the various reasons, but due to the very nature (both teams had walked through their competition in the Elite Series to the tune of 13-1, having split their two previous meetings, and had met in the championship or final stages of the Scandinavian and Norwegian Open tournaments), there was a little "bad blood". Wouldn't you know it, but the game that I was treated to was the epic, end-of-the-season, winner-take-all, rubber match between the two in Oslo.
How was it?
For starters, I got there late. To get to the "venue" (Fyrstikkalléen skole... While it is a school, the campus and facility was better than a lot of colleges in the States) I had to take two different buses and walk four blocks through neighborhoods (reminded me of going to RFK!). So... I got there at the onset of the first set, which was all Stod.
Before arriving, I didn't know much about Stod. Like, I couldn't even find it on a map. However, I soon came to realize that they go hammer for their volleyball. The crowd was very pro-Stod. I would say that of the 200 or so people in attendance, 140 were for Stod (yes, I had never seen that many people at a Volleyball event, either). They were very vocal... they had chants and claps and scarfs and noise makers that drowned out the blaring hip-hop music (a very, underrated, unintentional comedy element of the event... they had like eight songs that they rotated throughout the game. Why only eight and why such poignant ballads as "Stereo Heart" by Gym Class Heroes, "Remember the Name" by Fort Minor, and the immortal "Butterfly" by Crazy Town? Man may never know).
As for the teams, it was almost like Space Jam. Stod was every part the Monstars... They were bigger (save for my classmate), faster, stronger (like, when they hit the ball... it made a different sound!), and more athletic. They seemed to be one step ahead of Oslo at every turn... plus, they had a different, type of swagger.
Now, some of the people in the crowd, both demurely and very vocally, attributed this to the "foreign" aspect of the team. As I had a program from the game, it was kinda obvious that certain players on Stod weren't from Stod or anywhere else in Norway (Let's just say there weren't too many "Line"'s or "Thea"'s... I'm not complaining. The object is to win so you should have the best players to do so and I'm all about foreigner solidarity). In fact, they had two players from America.
Which two were from America? Ha... let's just say it wasn't hard to tell.
In addition to being the two tallest, most athletic, and best players.
They were also the loudest.
They berated the officials when they blew a call (there were many opportunities for this). They berated their teammates when they made a poor play (also, many opportunities). They berated their coach when he went berserk (this may be a surprise, but there were many opportunities for this, too!). They taunted the Oslo players when they hammered spikes upon them or stuffed their shots. They taunted the crowd, the few Oslo fans who dared to be vocal, when they also took the second set with relative ease (What made it even better is that they did all of it in English... they didn't even bother to at least meet their target halfway by yelling in Norwegian!).
As a impartial observer, I was horrified... As an American, I was "Hell yeah! That's how we do!" (I can't help myself... I won't get into all of this now. That's for another blog).
Anyway, Oslo was able to rally back, partially to spirited play and fatigue (Oslo did have the numbers advantage as they were able to rotate in about four, solid players to Stod having one, viable sub). The match was tied at 2-2 and it seemed it was anyone's match.
In the end, Oslo couldn't get out of their own way (two, crucial serve faults down the stretch) and lost the deciding set and the match and, for all intents and purposes, the season. Stod paraded around, both demonstratively and emphatically, and Oslo players sulked off the court.
It was a pretty memorable experience and a good lesson in something... I'm not sure what, but it was.
Good times. Remember to "Like" on Facebook (www.facebook.com/OSLOst) and email any questions and I will try to address them in future blog entries or with a personal response!
ATTENTION EVERYONE!! HEY!! ATTENTION!!! PI IS THREE!
Now that I have your attentions... What do I do with my days? Good question. In addition to trying to find a job (this consists of hours of job search engine scanning, crafting cover letters, and clicking "refresh" on my inbox repeatedly hoping for good news that never comes), I read newspapers and do a random assortment of errands. Additionally, I have been taking language and culture courses.
I would attempt to explain this in detail, but its not really that interesting and, as most things, is far more interesting to me and people who are involved with it than to an outsider. An inside joke is only funny if you're on the inside and, even then, its pretty subjective.
Anyway, I have had nine weeks of course and I would definitely rate my Norwegian skills as "needs improvement". Money well spent.
Though, the best thing I have gotten from the sessions is a better understanding of Norwegian life and some great friends from all over the globe.
So... Norwegian Life. It can be pretty dangerous (ice is EVERYWHERE... even under the ice!), but, generally, its about making the best out of every situation. You need assistance/help/directions/human contact? Mostly everyone will respond in English (of course you wouldn't take the time to learn our language...). It snows nine months out of the year? Let's incorporate skiing into the national identity and let's go hammer during the three months its actually nice outside with a crapton of outdoor festivals. Norwegians perpetually see the glass half full... even when the water is frozen because of a freak, March snowstorm.
Norwegian life... it consists of trying not to slip on the ever-present patches of ice
Pop culture here, like everywhere, is a mash up of global trends and traditional looks (especially mandated by weather) to give you something that makes the average Oslonian (I just made that up) look like they could've just stepped out of Park Slope.
Music isn't all death metal and trip hop DJs (as I thought before I came here) as "indie folk rock" is probably the dominant sound (judging by restaurants, conversations, radio, passing cars, and the newspapers that I can figure out how to read). Though, hip-hop is popular here and manifests itself almost as equally awkwardly as it does in affluent, American suburbs (funny anecdote: I was on the tram the other day, and this couple, african guy-norwegian girl, were sitting a few rows in front of me having an animated conversation in Norwegian in between making out. Norwegians tend to intersperse English phrases into their conversations... "no problem", "can you believe that?", "and I was all like". Yes, it sounds as odd as you'd imagine. Anyway, this couple was sorta doing the same thing and, at one point, the girl, a very blonde and blue eyed, diminutive Norwegian in similar clothing pictured above, goes "hun er alltid i min skitt! Men hun vet ikke and I be like, Nigga please. High comedy)
