Did I dress warm enough? No? Crap :(

NorTHUG LIFE!

There's a Norwegian maxim that goes: "There is no bad weather, only bad clothes"

It's a lie.

By my American, Mid-Atlantic sensibilities, bad weather happens in Norway in every month that doesn't end in July.  I'm not kidding.  There has been either snow, or the threat of snow, in every other month of the year in my two years here.  However, this fact doesn't really deter or affect the Norwegian outlook.  When the weather heads south, they just throw on a boblejakka, a pair of votter and keep it moving.

It is what it is.

(It should be noted, that, as far as proverbs go, Norwegians are pragmatic and don't espouse the most charitable or heart-warming sentiments... For example, here's another proverb: Alder er ikkje å skryte av; ein får den for ingenting... Age is nothing to boast of, you get it for nothing)

I say all of this to say that October is the official end of the plesantries with regards to the meteorological happenings.  August can flirt and even give some "flip flops and shorts" weather, September might even delay packing your summer clothes away, but October... October don't play

Snowmen come to life in October and leave... well, whenever they choose

The above photo is from a week ago.

A friend of mine, a few hours north of Oslo, created the first, snowmen of the season (amongst my friends... further north, they'd been in the snow for two months now).  For perspective, it's already snowed twice in Oslo and is flurrying as I type this.

Please note that I'm not saying that snow is bad weather.  Surely, in December and January, this is the norm.  However, in September and October, this isn't ideal

Anyway, with winter being so 'bout that life here in Norway, it is understandable that some of the biggest stars are the people that make their work in the snow.  

One of those people is Petter Northug.  Not only is he a champion skier, he also is a entrepreneur (he isn't a businessman, he's a business, man!).  His goal is to make sure that we all can live that norTHUG LIFE!

Winter isn't coming... It's already here.

ALT FOR NORGE

Like me on Facebook: facebook.com/OSLOST

Follow me on Twitter: @BoomerOSLO

Buy my non-Norway based book: http://www.amazon.co.uk/This-New-Normal-ebook/dp/B008M0GPW2

Ritz Crackers... 'cause it's cold, son!

I wonder if my home owner's insurance covers against snow damage...

It snows in Norway.  A lot.

But I didn't write this entry to waste your time with information you already knew.

It's just... you don't realize how much "a lot" is until you're staring out a window on Saint Patrick's Day and there's 10 inches of the white stuff (fresh from a weekend onslaught) wishing you a "top o' the morning!"

But it's not just the snow, its cold, too.  How cold is it?  I've rarely worn a hat and gloves during the winter time for most of my life (I have a mother worn thin from 20+ winters of worry who can attest to this fact), but I almost refuse to step outside here unless my hat and gloves are on (in fact, I have several back-ups just in case I'm in a rush and can't find the primary).

As I'm writing this, its snowing!  To be clear, I'm not complaining, but "it takes some getting use to" is a vast understatement.

So.  What does that do to one's psyche?

It can cause depression (Which isn't just for us foreigners, its the reason why Norwegians take fish oil... Vitamin D is the cure!).

Though, more likely, it can cause what I call "want reallocation".  For example, the other day, I really wanted some mango sorbet (odd, right?).  Instead of venturing the eight blocks to the store that may have it (I'd say 50-50 shot), I went the block and a half to the store that really had no shot of having it and settled for Ritz crackers and Strawberry jam.

That's just what happens when cold is factored in the equation.  

Another example: We live within a three block radius of four, awful pizza places (I can't underscore how dreadful pizza can be here here) and about a twenty minute bus ride from an outstanding pizza place.  I will give you zero guesses on how many times we've gone to the good place since winter has taken hold because the answer is zero.

Norwegians will scoff at you and tell you its not cold, but they're lying.  They wear big coats and complain about the weather (I'm pretty sure "weather" is the #1 casual conversation topic).  I actually base my clothing decisions on how Norwegians dress.  Before going out, I'll watch people walking outside from the window.  If people have jackets unzipped, I just wear a hat and coat;  If they have jackets zipped and scarves, I wear hat and gloves; If I see women wearing hats and men walking briskly, I stay inside (because women NEVER wear hats here and no one EVER, EVER walks briskly... if I see that it must mean some "Day After Tomorrow"-ness is going down.  That's how people get bronchitis... No thank you).

Unfortunately, I don't have a choice as I'm now all out of Ritz crackers.

ALT FOR NORGE

Like me on Facebook: facebook.com/OSLOST

Follow me on Twitter: @BoomerOSLO

Buy my non-Norway based book: http://www.amazon.co.uk/This-New-Normal-ebook/dp/B008M0GPW2

1 month in...

So... After three failed attempts at blogging (in a twist of irony, I may resurrect armchair all-americans while abroad), here we go again.  At first, I didn't want to do it, but, as I've come to realize, its the best way to keep everyone up to date on my travails without having to tell the same anecdotes in a million emails (I wish I knew how to do footnotes... but seriously, a piece of you dies each time you have to recycle the same half-funny joke).

That being said.  Short recap for those of you who don't know me or why I'm writing a blog.

I am an American who relocated to Oslo, Norway hence the semi-funny title (it'll get better, I promise... money-back guarantee)

That was really easy.

So.... How has the first month gone? (footnote 2: photo albums are on my Facebook)

Great.  I spent Christmas in the cozy, hometown of my girlfriend on the west coast of Norway. Enjoyed some new food :| and some really great food!.  Along with doing a lot of the traditional, Norwegian customs... oh, and I also got to experience aquavit.

Next, was New Years.  A simple plane, train, and car ride took us up to the middle of the country, amidst bustling metropolises with welcoming names.  Here, we drank more aquavit and I got to try Tuborg, which has become my second favorite beer here behind, Ringnes.  Oh, my girlfriend also built the best ice couch ever and our champagne froze in our glasses.  Minus 10 Celsius + ain't no joke.

Since then, its been a fun array of going to Norwegian language class and getting to know the city.  I went cross country skiing and didn't do too bad (those pictures should be up on Facebook soon).

So yeah... that's pretty much it.  I'm going to try to update this weekly or whenever something happens.  I hope you guys have enjoyed it and just comment or message me any questions.


Rap lyric I'd incorporate into a song if I were a rapper:
The path less chosen, chose me instead, though/ Now I'm an expat like Drew Bledsoe