HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Did I dress warm enough? No? Crap :(

NorTHUG LIFE!

There's a Norwegian maxim that goes: "There is no bad weather, only bad clothes"

It's a lie.

By my American, Mid-Atlantic sensibilities, bad weather happens in Norway in every month that doesn't end in July.  I'm not kidding.  There has been either snow, or the threat of snow, in every other month of the year in my two years here.  However, this fact doesn't really deter or affect the Norwegian outlook.  When the weather heads south, they just throw on a boblejakka, a pair of votter and keep it moving.

It is what it is.

(It should be noted, that, as far as proverbs go, Norwegians are pragmatic and don't espouse the most charitable or heart-warming sentiments... For example, here's another proverb: Alder er ikkje å skryte av; ein får den for ingenting... Age is nothing to boast of, you get it for nothing)

I say all of this to say that October is the official end of the plesantries with regards to the meteorological happenings.  August can flirt and even give some "flip flops and shorts" weather, September might even delay packing your summer clothes away, but October... October don't play

Snowmen come to life in October and leave... well, whenever they choose

The above photo is from a week ago.

A friend of mine, a few hours north of Oslo, created the first, snowmen of the season (amongst my friends... further north, they'd been in the snow for two months now).  For perspective, it's already snowed twice in Oslo and is flurrying as I type this.

Please note that I'm not saying that snow is bad weather.  Surely, in December and January, this is the norm.  However, in September and October, this isn't ideal

Anyway, with winter being so 'bout that life here in Norway, it is understandable that some of the biggest stars are the people that make their work in the snow.  

One of those people is Petter Northug.  Not only is he a champion skier, he also is a entrepreneur (he isn't a businessman, he's a business, man!).  His goal is to make sure that we all can live that norTHUG LIFE!

Winter isn't coming... It's already here.

ALT FOR NORGE

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Immigration (again): The Romani Problem

All immigrants are not created equal.

This is a pretty simple and important lesson to learn when moving to another country.

My American and UK friends are well versed and, as I approach the two year mark in my attempts at moving to Norway, I can say I have a better understanding of that truth in Norway.

The dirty, little secret is that not everyone will be a part of the "New Norway"

Just like in the aforementioned Anglo-phone countries, here in Norway, feelings on immigration tend to diverge with regards to members of the second/third worlds.  Unfortunately, it's a poor coincidence that this group (usually asylum seekers or just looking for a better life in economy-rich Norway) tends to be darker skinned and of a different ethnic/cultural background, linking Norwegians to the more unsavory elements of American/English culture.  

While it would be naive to think that these thoughts aren't present here in Norway, it would be accurate to say that the revolting ideology of hate groups are in the complete, extreme minority (like, .09% of the population).  However, those that share in the fear of a loss of national/ethnic identity are quite high.

I get it.

Being Norwegian is like a very select club of people who survived various periods of being invaded, invading others, emigration, and a bunch of plain, old bad luck.  I can't describe just how contemptuous Norwegians find Americans claiming kinship on the backs of forefathers (well, not all Norwegians feel this way).

Norwegians feel special and unique and that, with the pressing and invasion of globalization and various EEA agreements, they can feel those traits being warped and diluted.  With the economic downturn throughout most of Europe that Norway has survived and thrived through, that precarious feeling of self is being threatened by waves of Mediterranean jobseekers in addition to the usual groups.

One of the usual groups that incur the most wrath and judgement would be the Romani people.

Originating from the fringes of the EU allows the largely nomadic group more freedom (visa stay restrictions?  What visa stay restrictions?) than non-EEA country people (yes, this includes yours truly as well as citizens from other 1st world countries such as Canada, Australia, and New Zealand) to come to Norway.

The popular legend goes that droves of Romani come to Norway where they beg on street corners and hustle for cans (returning cans gives you significantly more than it does in select states, here is a great post about it).  They're organized by bosses that rotate and instruct them on how to look sad and needy. Meanwhile, other groups roam the countryside in large RVs looking for unattended cottages and homes to rob.

While this may be true on some level (the best part of the can collection is that every cookout in a park comes with a dutiful attendant eager to take your empty can), it can't possibly be the whole story.  

I did some research.

Norway isn't even a top ten destination for Romani (btw, America has the most with a little over one million.  Sweden with 50,000 has the largest population in Scandinavia) nor does it have the most contentious relationship (Keep it classy, Italy).  While there has been some rough areas, there largely seems to be just a "boogie man" used by society as a scapegoat for the big fear that looms over everything.  Change.

The world is changing.  There are more internationals pouring in to the major cities of the world every day.  Half of Oslo is constantly under construction creating new buildings and skyscrapers to house the ever-expanding large firms.  With prosperity and blessings come expectations and demands.  It should be noted that the Norwegian state does more than its part around the world, the average citizen can not be as selfless.  I may not be the best person to judge, but there is a disconnect between "Doing the right thing" and "Making sure there is a plan in place to maintain quality of life".  Which may be the reason the current majority party may lose next month's elections (among other reasons).  People want to feel guaranteed of the future despite the known logic that such a promise is impossible.

While I'm not advocating that the Romani are blameless (I've seen the vans drop off disheveled women.  I've seen the older men lecturing young girls on how to look more pathetic) and/or innocent (Dude, how you gonna be on your cell phone when you're begging for money?), the distrust of certain foreigners plays a role here.  As does the inability to formulate the place for old ideals and beliefs in a modernizing world.  It's not that the ways of the past have failed us or were wrong, they just apply to a life that may be impossible to live anymore (which may contribute to Norwegians obsession with nature).  

Or I could be completely wrong and Norway just needs to invest in more policemen and border control.

ALT FOR NORGE

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Independence Day in Norway

It feels very appropriate that the last post I wrote delved into the issue of "American-ness" as this one falls on the actual, definitive day of America.

237 years strong(ish)!

Here's to the future!  (Despite the fact it looks an awful lot like the past)

So... what's an expat to do on his country's national day?  The same thing they'd do if they were home!

Grill out and party for the red, white, and blue like there's no tomorrow!

Unfortunately, the weather didn't get the memo.

It has been raining for two days straight now.

Oh well.  Sounds like good weather for this weekend so we'll have to get it in then!

Happy 4th to all my American readers from Norway!  Alas, there's at least one American who won't be joining the party in Norway.

Alt for Norge and God Bless America

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Surviving Oslo Musicfest 2013

I'm no longer young and cool (or, rather, I no longer have the illusion of being young and cool... if ever I had been the latter is debatable).

I'd been aware of this fact for some time, but a three-hour whirlwind through the crowds and music of the 2013 Oslo Musicfest (Oslomusikkfest) confirmed this truth.

I thought of writing a running diary for the proceedings, but that seemed silly considering the fact that my experience was only 180 minutes of a possible 12 hours and a decent portion of what little time I did commit was spent walking between venues.

So, in lieu of a blow-by-blow, here are a sampling of the highlights (Please keep in mind that I only visited 7 of the 20 venues and only saw 8 bands):

Best Setting I visited.  The Kristparken venue was epic.  The park itself is little more than a huge courtyard between a kindergarten, Church of Sweden's Norwegian headquarters, and the Norwegian Dental headquarters.  There are numerous trees and wide alleyways leading in, so there was a cool breeze and dabs of sunny spots.  It was packed and it was a festive crowd (i.e. there was a lot of marijuana being smoked).  It most embodied the idea of a music festival (at least, as I have known them).  Unfortunately, they had a less than ideal vendor situation (the lines spanned the width of the courtyard) and the sound was distorted.  Which did no favors for the sounds of Man the Machetes and Blood Command.

Most Enjoyable Venue I visited.  Strangely, the Vulkan Scene provided the best combination of space and sound.  There were more tables and chairs brought in for sitting, as well as beer being sold from multiple spots to avoid long lines (50 kroner/$8.33 for 33 cl beers, that's an ounce less of a standard, American beer can).  The stage was set-up at the bottom of the stairs, providing good acoustics.  The wide walkways could've accomodated 500 people (it was about 1/7th that number in attendance). 

Worst Venue I visited.  While it had one of the better programs, Cafe Sør was unbearable.  There was approximately 290452834982734 people squeezed into an indoor and outdoor area meant for about 75.  However, the sound was exquisite (which makes sense as it was one of the few places that actually hosted music on a semi-regular basis).  A shame because I would've loved to have stayed through EMILY's whole set, but I just couldn't...  People-induced claustrophobia is a real thing, I think...

Most bizarre question I was asked.  Can me and my wife have your mulatt babies?  (I'm paraphrasing and this ended my first stint at Kristparken)

The one scene that is impossible to describe but I will try anyway.  There are few places that combine the unintentional comedy of people trying to look tough in bright colored clothing and oblivious, drunk white girl dancing (Oh my God!  Is that racists!?!?!?  I didn't mean for it to be, like, racists!!) better than Turkish Delight.  Though, this all pales in comparison to the awkward, reggaeton stylings of Son of Light!

Best Band.  I guess the perfect combination of space, sound, and charm of Vulkan was aided by the fact that the perfect band was playing, DUDES.  Now, please don't take this to mean that I think the band, itself, is perfect (or even very good), but, as so often happens in life, the combination of their energy, the setting, and the crowd's reaction (somewhere between riotous and perplexed excitement) just made the set unimpeachable.  What were they saying?  I don't know.  But they meant it!  Also, the drummer looks like Micheal Cera and their base guitarist looked and dressed just like the Don Dawson character in Dazed and Confused.

Why Did I Lead into this post with melancholic musings on youth lost?  Well, the following four reasons... 1) Because I didn't understand any of the clothing the trendy concert goers were wearing (I saw an assortment of "NOFX" and other mid-90s screamo bands.  I couldn't tell if people had these on to be ironic or to chalk it up to their Norwegianness... I feel like, with most things, the answer lies somewhere in-between);  2) I didn't understand the appeal of most of the bands (granted, when you're playing a free event, you tend to not have Kanye West or Counting Crows show up); 3) I just referenced Counting Crows like they released a relevant album in the past decade; and 4) I was pretty done after three hours.  There was still more to see, but I wasn't up for it.   

That's pretty much all I have.  Youngstorget was a complete and utter debacle of people (there was at least 300-500 people milling in-between a logjam of two stages with music that ran over each other and a dozen vendor stands selling everything from Eastern scarves to cowboy hats) and Revolver was nondescript (there's only so many ways to describe loud rock).

ALT FOR NORGE

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Remembrance and odds-and-ends

As a way to get to know the city (and kill time and calories), I am prone to wander aimlessly through the streets and alleys (not so much the latter since I've discovered scooping up dog poop is met with a very meh approach here in Oslo).  During my sojourners, I have discovered various little "gold markers" on the ground.  At first, I didn't really pay attention to it because, well, there's a lot of random signs and markers in Norway (That tends to happen in places with thousands of years of history).

However, one afternoon, I passed a series of them and, since I really wasn't in that big of a hurry, I decided to actually read what it said.  The first word that jumped out at me was "Auschwitz", which needs no hyperlink as everyone knows the name as that of the largest, concentration camp run during World War II.  

The rest of the marker gave the name of the individual and listed that they had, indeed, died at the aforementioned internment camp.

As this was unusual, I went home to research this phenomenon to see if it was an isolated plaque or whether it was part of a larger network.

The formal name is Stolperstein (German for "Stumbling block", it is spelled Snublesteiner in Norwegian) and they're monuments created by Gunter Demnig, a German artist, to commemorate individual victims of Nazism all over the European continent.  

Naturally, Oslo, the largest city and initial target of German invasion in April 1940, has the most Stoplerstein/Snublesteiner of any Norwegian city.  I've come across ten so far in my travels, including the first one which sparked my follow-up on the subject

  

Her name was Ruth Maier, an Austrian Jewish woman, who sought refuge in Oslo in April 1939 and, as the memorial denotes, she was deported for Auschwitz in 1942, where she died later that same year.

Maier is known as "Norway's Anne Frank" as she, too, kept an extensive diary detailing the horrors and atrocities that befell her in her homeland and the harrowing escape to a believed safe harbor only for it to not be so.  Her lesser acclaim can be attributed to the fact that it took 65 years for her writing to reach publication (in German and Norwegian), 67 for it to be in English.

But now I know of her and her life that happened a short walk from my apartment.  It's good to know of history and not to forget it.

OTHER WEEKLY HIGHLIGHTS:

- As a follow-up to my remark about the civic pride and holidays, two weeks ago, comes even more.  A Norwegian associate of mine told me that a Norwegians favorite month of the year is May because there's hardly any working days.  While this was said in jest, it's easy to see where the joke is derived.  The following are holidays where a vast majority of the country is shut down:  Labor Day (May 1), Ascension Day (May 9), Constitution Day (May 17), and Pentecost (May 20)

- So, it seems like Michael Moore loves Norway

- It's comforting to know that no matter how obnoxious you may think this blog seems at times, it will never compare to this guy

- While we're on the point of exploitation, I love how many Norwegians think of Americans in terms of this video... When, based on my "limited exposure", an extremely small number of Norwegians could place my home state on the map or articulate much about it even though it has a larger population than Norway (and it's a pretty notable state with an infamous TV series based on it's largest city... it's not like South Dakota or Wyoming)

So, as I wrap this up, I want to give a shout out to all the youngsters in Russ.  Step. Up. Your. Game!   Not once have I been awakened by drunken hooliganism, not once have I had to step over a passed out teenager, and not once have I felt a twinge of jealousy for not having as cool of a senior tradition... Class of 2013, you better bring the noise tomorrow on Constitution Day

ALT FOR NORGE RussByen!!

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Race, and other awkward moments, in Norway

Norway has been homogeneous for most of its history, save for the last fifty years when immigration has steadily increased.

For the most part, things run smoothly here and there is very little negative interactions.  However, as is the case virtually all over the planet, certain *ahem* stereotypes still exist.  Which leads to awkward moments...

For example, the other day I was taking the trykk and, as so often happens, it was packed and I was the only non-ethnic Norwegian in the section.  The overhead automated announcement, which usually just mumbles the next destination, does so and also issues a cryptic message to "be weary of pickpockets".

I know some of you readers will think I was imagining this, but about a dozen pairs of eyes immediately turned in my direction with suspicion.

I usually try to smile or pretend to be oblivious, but I'm not.

Here, however, is an interesting aside and difference from most of the world.  While the same situation would/does happen in every other corner of the globe, here in Norway the situation completely changes when one simple fact is introduced.

I start speaking English.

I can't tell you how many times I've been in stores, restaurants, and other settings in addition to public transport and by merely speaking my native tongue, I go from being just another dark skinned foreigner to an American.  For the most part, those that ignored me reach out and attempt to connect with me.  Frowns become smiles.  Looks of contempt become curious questions.  It is really an astounding transformation.

Though, don't get it twisted, I'm still an outsider.

Norwegians are very proud... Of their culture, country, and, secretly, themselves.  They want to know how I find their country because they know everything about mine and, naturally, find their homeland superior.  It's reassuring to have an outside person collaborate those thoughts.  Aldous Huxley once wrote "Philosophy is the finding of reason and proof what one naturally believes off instinct.

OTHER WEEKLY HIGHLIGHTS:

- Norway can be cost-prohibitive... It cost me 100 USD to obtain the following items: 6 trips on the public transportation, a frozen pizza, 3 liters (101 ounces... or 8.5 American beer cans) of beer, and a haircut.  My haircut is fresh, btw

- Russ season, like escobar season, has returned.  The kids are out in their red, blue, black, and green overalls.  The ID checks for beer have increased.

- I just found out that Iggy Azalea is white... that has nothing to do with anything, just thought that I should mention

ALT FOR NORGE

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Return of the Bieber and a Champion

Norway is a confusing place.

Statue from Vingeland Park

For as many similarities as there are to the states, there are that many differences.

But, when it comes to teen heartthrobs, there is no culture gap.  Which is a shame because Norway has produced such great pop music... ABBA, Miike Snow,  Ace of Base, First Aid Kit (wait... those are all Swedish?!?!  Oh.  Well, there's always A-HA).

Above is the scene from last year when Bieber blessed Oslo with his bangs.  As I informed you all, dear readers, it was a catastrophe.  The mayor hid in a retail store to avoid being trampled by hordes of Norwegian tweens chasing their idol.  Traffic was disrupted for hours.  Police were outnumbered and overrun (I swear, I think there was an hour or two of martial law declared).  It was pure chaos.

So how could the Biebs possibly top that?

He threw three, back-to-back-to-back concerts that created such a demand that they not only sold out in minutes, but causes school districts to re-arrange their testing dates.  Caught off-guard and slightly embarrassed, Oslo's finest vowed to take their revenge (ok... they didn't come off as menacing, but it was the general sentiment).

How did it go?

Well, it was interesting...

Things started off in favor of the Bieberization when his bodyguard instagrammed a picture of himself getting a haircut which lead to a lot of "likes", "favorites", and "retweets".  Additionally, the impromptu photo session lead to said barbershop being swamped with the pre-pubescent.   No word on whether the establishment has been able to air out the smell of Chanel Jr. and Lil' Dior Miss.  (On a sidenote, please check out the Team Swaggy bodyguard's twitter... https://twitter.com/KennyHamilton talk about taking yourself too seriously).

Anyway, things only got more hectic from there.  A day before the shows were to start, a poor, background dancer (a deacon in the Church of Bieber, but a celebrity to Bielibers), was accosted while going for a drink at a local convenience store.  At this point, with the concert about to kick-off, the men and women in light bluish-grey decided to step up their game.

Over 66,000 descended upon the 20,000ish capacity stadium.  The cops were ready, the ticket takers were sorta ready, Team Swaggy was ready.  And so it went...

Did the police crack down or did they catch Beauty and a beat?  I'd call it a draw.

While there were no elected officials whose safety and health were threatened by hormonal adolescents drawn to their obsession, there were numerous injuries and mild catastrophe reported.  Though, the official spokesman for the Kommune Koppers issued a statement that sounded more like they had withstood an invading army.

Which, is fair, seeing how, in the end, the chaos left one, poor Bieberian in a coma.

28-0, 6 KOs

So yeah... Bieber in Norway is no joke.

In other news, I would like to give a special kudos to Norwegian boxer, Cecilia Brækhus.  She beat Mia St. John, the former Super Welterweight champion, over the weekend by TKO.  With the victory, Brækhus retained her WBA, WBO, WPBF, and WBC welterweight titles.  At 28-0, she is one of the best, pound-for-pound fighters in the world.  A fact made even more remarkable due to the fact that Norway is one of a handful of countries with a ban on Professional Boxing.

She is also an accomplished kickboxer and has been dabbling in muay thai and may take her talents to the UFC.  Would definitely be a step up in competition (which, she hasn't gotten much of in her rampage through the boxing world) and probably an improvement in pay (the fights preceding hers were a bunch of slow, has beens/never was/never will be's slapping at each other for four rounds).  It will be interesting to see how that goes as professional mixed martial arts is also illegal here (though, there's an organization with a snazzy Facebook page working on fixing that).

Here is usually where I would write "Alt for Norge", but, in light of the violence and attempted harm going on back in America (it feels weird to watch from abroad... it's almost like its happening on another planet), I decided to switch up the message...

"We must all learn to live together as brothers or die together as fools" - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Alt for fred... Peace for all

Where did everyone go?

Life is full of small ironies.

Case and point, Norway is a Christian nation, but religion is not something that really is important to many of Norwegians.  Which is in contrast to America, which has no state-religion, but cares about christianity a lot.

However, each country treats the seminal holiday of Christianity quite differently.

From yesterday early evening until Monday, everything is shut down.  Not just government buildings, but everything (note the list only has like a dozen things open... keep in mind this is a city of nearly 800000 people).  Here is what Youngstorget, a random, downtown street normally looks like:

And here's what it looks like now:

Conversely, in America, I remember working many Good Fridays and Easter Mondays.

I guess that's the difference between a "state religion" and "religion of the people of the state".

Anyway, while here in the deserted city, we're celebrating with food (slow-braised lamb ribs! and homemade bread), drink (you think your boy didn't note the hours of operation?), and long walks through historic streets.

That'll do quite nicely.

Have a great holiday weekend.

Alt for Norge

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Ritz Crackers... 'cause it's cold, son!

I wonder if my home owner's insurance covers against snow damage...

It snows in Norway.  A lot.

But I didn't write this entry to waste your time with information you already knew.

It's just... you don't realize how much "a lot" is until you're staring out a window on Saint Patrick's Day and there's 10 inches of the white stuff (fresh from a weekend onslaught) wishing you a "top o' the morning!"

But it's not just the snow, its cold, too.  How cold is it?  I've rarely worn a hat and gloves during the winter time for most of my life (I have a mother worn thin from 20+ winters of worry who can attest to this fact), but I almost refuse to step outside here unless my hat and gloves are on (in fact, I have several back-ups just in case I'm in a rush and can't find the primary).

As I'm writing this, its snowing!  To be clear, I'm not complaining, but "it takes some getting use to" is a vast understatement.

So.  What does that do to one's psyche?

It can cause depression (Which isn't just for us foreigners, its the reason why Norwegians take fish oil... Vitamin D is the cure!).

Though, more likely, it can cause what I call "want reallocation".  For example, the other day, I really wanted some mango sorbet (odd, right?).  Instead of venturing the eight blocks to the store that may have it (I'd say 50-50 shot), I went the block and a half to the store that really had no shot of having it and settled for Ritz crackers and Strawberry jam.

That's just what happens when cold is factored in the equation.  

Another example: We live within a three block radius of four, awful pizza places (I can't underscore how dreadful pizza can be here here) and about a twenty minute bus ride from an outstanding pizza place.  I will give you zero guesses on how many times we've gone to the good place since winter has taken hold because the answer is zero.

Norwegians will scoff at you and tell you its not cold, but they're lying.  They wear big coats and complain about the weather (I'm pretty sure "weather" is the #1 casual conversation topic).  I actually base my clothing decisions on how Norwegians dress.  Before going out, I'll watch people walking outside from the window.  If people have jackets unzipped, I just wear a hat and coat;  If they have jackets zipped and scarves, I wear hat and gloves; If I see women wearing hats and men walking briskly, I stay inside (because women NEVER wear hats here and no one EVER, EVER walks briskly... if I see that it must mean some "Day After Tomorrow"-ness is going down.  That's how people get bronchitis... No thank you).

Unfortunately, I don't have a choice as I'm now all out of Ritz crackers.

ALT FOR NORGE

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Russ...

Attention American, High School Seniors (and those that were high school seniors at one point, even if it was way back in '99), congratulations on graduating!  However, as you embark on Senior Week, know that while you might think your week-long, dalliance at the beach or having crazy house parties with Matt Damon are the ultimate, you're mistaken.

Norwegians go harder than you... Yeah?  Oh Yeah...

It all starts with the magical time of Russ.

I don't even think this needs a caption...

The Basics.
The period of celebration for graduating Norwegians is referred to as Russefeiring and those that participate in it are Russ (not to be confused with Rus, which means intoxication from drugs...).  The word Russ derives from the latin cornua depositurus, which means "bound to put aside one's horns" and is synonymous with many Scandinavian University Acceptance ceremonies (sinister legend suggests that during the time of "union" with Denmark, when Norwegian students attended The University of Copenhagen, snarky Danish students made them wear horns to denote their more "rural roots".  The Danes are mean).  Either way, there have been Russ, in some form or another, for a couple hundred years.


That sounds kinda gangster, but how can that compete with beer bonging and party hopping on the beach?


For starters, the period last longer than a week as it stretches from May 1 (May Day) to the National Constitution Day on the 17th.  Secondly, since the school structure is different here (Norwegian "middle school" is four years long), most Seniors are 19 when they graduate or, if they're precocious or born in the back half of the year, 18.  The drinking age in Norway is 18 (for beer and wine, 20 for hard liquor... but whoever waits?).  No fake I.D. needed.   


But they don't even have beer pong, how much fun can it even be?


It looks like a blast.  For starters, the whole "rural roots" thing gains traction here.  The customary clothing are overalls (yes, everyone and yes, they wear them for the duration of the 17 day period... it's frowned upon to wash them... in fact, if you get caught, they make you caught off a leg of the overalls), for everyone.  Boys and Girls.  They also have different colors depending on the course of study going forward.  Blue are for the Business kids, Black for Engineers, Green for Agriculture (the most rare of the Russ), and, for everyone else, Red.  Additionally, to discourage drunk driving, its customary for Russ to pay for transportation.  Not just any kind of transportation, but a tricked out bus.  You think your prom limo was fly, these busses can cost upwards of a quarter million US Dollars (think part RV, part tour bus).  

Where does the money come from?  You get sponsors, of course!

LEGO man gotta beer!

Or, your parents are just Oslo Ballerz and you and your friends just pool your allowances for it.

Either way, kids race around after school (that's right, these kids party and bomb out of their mind WHILE SCHOOL IS STILL GOING ON... they haven't even graduated yet.  They still have to take exams, which is in mid-June) going from party to party (The first weekend in May, there's a huge party in Stavanger) or creating their own.

Ringnes and Hansa for all

There are actually prizes for having the best bus.  The whole thing isn't a complete loss because most Russ recoup a sizable portion of their investment by reselling the bus the following year to the next set of Russ.

Aww, crap... I give up.  Are there anything else that they do that should make me hate my life or try to pose as an exchange student?

Instead of getting those wallet-size graduation pictures to hand out (There's a drawer at my parent's house that contains about a dozen of them along with my junior prom pictures... poor investment), Russ have mock business cards that they hand out to anyone that, if you clink the link you will see, contain a picture and a whole bunch of zany tidbits.  I think when I found out about this, I spent a few days trying to figure out what my cards would say.

So yeah... I won't say this often, but Norway wins.  Hands Down.

"Like" the OSLOst in Space on Facebook (Facebook.com/oslost)

Alt for Norge

Surviving Hurricane Pop Culture

This past week something unprecedented happened here in Oslo.  Four, major North American icons descended upon town (Not to mention the 50,000 crazed Norwegians that packed Valle-Hovin for a Metallica show on the preceding Wednesday).  Kanye West, Jay-Z, Justin Bieber, and Hillary Rodham Clinton (yes, she still counts as an icon).  To make matters even crazier, Oslo was the epicenter for one of the most widespread public sector strikes in years which saw "over 300 police officers" pulled.  That may not seem like such a high number, by its self, but, when put in perspective (there's only 11,000 employees in the Police Service... for the WHOLE COUNTRY), it's downright staggering.

So yes... things were a little crazy here.

Oslo had a severe case of Bieber Fever

Here's a quick, run back to how it all went down.

MONDAY


While those of you back in the US celebrated Memorial Day (Or, as it should be known in Europe, "You're welcome" Day... Joking! Joking!  Calm down), here in Oslo, Watch the Throne day fell on the state church holiday of "Pentecost".  Things were relatively quiet around town as people took advantage of the three day weekend and splendid weather to go to their cabins in the country-side or down to the beaches in the Oslo Fjord.  Norwegians love for getting out into nature combined with the advantageous concert location (Telenor Arena... located in the Fornebu region of Greater Oslo.  Which is as close to the heart of the city like Fed Ex Field is to downtown DC, Candlestick Park is to downtown San Francisco) lead to a relatively non-influenced day.  There was extra traffic and people congestion down by the National Theatre area as it was tipped off that that's where the two stars were staying in a hotel there (maybe the two floors of blocked out rooms was a giveaway).  There concert went off without much incident (No excessive repetition of songs) and they were able to get out of town.  Which, as it turned out, would be for the best

TUESDAY


Maybe I'm out of touch with popular culture (ok... I am out of touch with popular culture), but I had NO idea just how big Justin Bieber had become, especially here in Norway.  Before his plane could touch down at Oslo International (Gardermoen is not exactly JFK or Dulles), thousands were camped out waiting to just get a view of their idol.  Things only got more nuts as the day continued.  My bus had to go through the heart of the Bieberness (Jerbanetorget... the central station and right next to the hotel the Biebs was staying).  What was normally a 20 minute ride was rendered into an hour slog as an inordinate number of people and cars were literally parked out on the streets around the area hoping to see Bieber.  How bad was the situation?  Bieber had to be airlifted from the hotel to a floating stage behind the Opera house in the harbor where he was to perform.  Were there a lot of fans there waiting?

Yes.

How bad did it get?  They almost called a "State of Emergency".

Things only got more bananas after the show, when young Justin tried to move through the streets toward a scheduled press conference and all hell broke loose amongst the thousands of excited, teenage girls

Now, besides the fact that there are quite a few guys chasing the cars, the shocking lack of police cannot be overstated.  They underestimated well... everything.  The result were over 45 people injured in the melee and one cancelled press conference.  Oh, by the way, when I was attempting to come home well after this whole scene at around 11pm, it still took nearly double the normal time.  Bieber FTW.

FRIDAY


Well, Hillary seems happy to be here.  I asked a handful of people through the street and around the Royal Palace what their thoughts were about the Secretary of State coming through (she was handing out "thanks a lot!" for NATO support, as opposed to other countries who didn't contribute as much as others *cough* Germany *cough*).  The answers I got were really insightful:

"She's here?  Like now?"
"I wish it was her husband instead."
"Is Obama coming, too?  No? Oh..."

That's right, world... Oslo has taken your best shot from the celebrity world and, like a erstwhile, British orphan, they're asking for some more.  Bring on the POTUS!  Norway is ready...

Alt for Norge

Quirky Bands and Fresh Air

The above is a promotion for a homegrown band here in Oslo.  Yes, their name really is "Turbonegro", and yes, when I first became aware of them I was slightly offended and confused (more confused, namely because that awareness came in the way of a block long ad, in all black, that just read "TURBONEGRO!" which lead to a frantic google search when I got home).  However, after doing more research (their music isn't bad for punk-death metal... which isn't nearly as backhanded as I meant it to be.  "All my Friends are Dead" is probably my favorite track).  They seem to be seemingly self-aware and not very racist (though, I mean, I didn't actually call any of them and most PR material is shaped to be accessible... I like giving the benefit of the doubt), and I respect them for sticking to their guns and not changing their name even though it would've (probably) led to more distribution in... well, everywhere that isn't the latin world (Luis Suarez is reading this and nodding glumly... sorry, that's my English Premier League joke for this entry).

Anyway, Turbonegro is the perfect embodiment of the, seemingly prevalent here, unintentionally funny comedy (Fine, I will give you an example,  "Founding member Thomas Seltzer once said, "A turbonegro is a large, well-equipped, armed black male in a fast car, out for vengeance. We are his prophets."")

The above is a common occurrence here in Oslo throughout the winter... Yes, people will leave their UNATTENDED strollers (barnevogn, for my my Norsk speaking friends) outside of houses/restaurants/IKEAs/Hos Bakeri/etc.  If you think that's crazy, its not uncommon for these UNATTENDED monstrosities on wheels (seriously, they're much larger than their American counterparts)  to be left WITH THE BABY STILL INSIDE!!  Now, to get an idea of just how cold winters in Oslo can get, a mother here told me that she doesn't leave her baby out once the temperature hits -5 Celsius [23 Farenheit], because that's too cold!  


Why do they do this?  


Well, this city is very trusting and crime isn't really that big of a deal (mainly because of the generous social services and microscopic unemployment rate... I was walking down the street today and two shop employees were standing befuddled in the street and were discussing a man who had just ran out of their shop with hundreds of dollars in unpaid merchandise.  Bystanders were pointing in which direction the guy went, but, when they found out the guy was "running", the employees decided it wasn't worth pursuit.  Yes, I'm serious) and Norwegians believe the fresh air is good for the child's lungs/breathing (the air quality is a touch better than most of the US).


But still... 


oh, today was the warmest day since I've been here, a balmy +3 degrees celsius (that's 42 Farenheit if you're scoring at home).  Norwegians decided to celebrate by taking up outdoor seating at all the cafes around town... Spring is on the way!


Rap lyric I'd incorporate into a song if I were a rapper:
Tryin' me a bad idea, indeed/Like callin' a Norwegian a Swede