Oslo Street Food Fest and IKEA (not in that order)

I was trying to get back on my regular schedule, but I spent yesterday assembling IKEA furniture.

Thankfully, it went better than this

Maybe its the close proximity to its place of origin, but I found putting together the furnishings easier than I previous had with other IKEA purchases.

Procuring the items were another matter altogether.

The IKEA we went to was in the neighboring town of Bærum.  The 20 km were traversed by a free, express, hourly shuttle from downtown Oslo.  We embarked and IKEA'd are brains out (Rather my girlfriend fiancé did as I have little no opinion on duvets and dining room table chairs) and, when we were ready to leave, found we had a little problem.

How would we get all of our stuff home?  (I won't say "furniture" because, as you know with IKEA, it was a pile of flimsy wood and bags of nuts and bolts)

The first option was to have them deliver it.  That wasn't tenable as our spending had pushed us into a higher delivery cost (Because, whenever you can incentivize people to purchase less, you always do it... Consumerism works differently here than back in the US).  Thus, we had to go with renting a car which was cheaper and went well (except for having to return the car and wait 40 minutes for the next bus to take us home... that sucked).

All in all, a good IKEA day.  I even got Meatballs!  Happy 50th birthday, IKEA - Slependen!!

Speaking of food...

The one thing I am critical about here in Norway is the food (not the homemade food... All of that has been awesome!).  You don't have to scan back over past blog posts, but yeah, I talk about it... A lot.

However, I must give it up to Oslo (well, the Mathallen) for their amazing Street Food fest.

There were between 20-30 vendors (it was a rainy day and a lot of the booth were not prepared for the downpour so there was a lot of combinations) and all types of amazing food (well, except for Norwegian Kimchi... Not Yet!).  I settled on trying various seared lamb and moose ribs (free sample, so it was like a spoonful and 1/3 a rib so I didn't get enough to make a firm conclusion on either, but I will say that seasoning is not a key feature of cuisine here) and reindeer kabob (oh have mercy, percy was it good!  I take back the "seasoning" snide remark I just made).  However, the standouts were the french dip sandwich made by an actual Frenchman (alas, the meal was created in California, but, by a Frenchmen...  That counts, right?).  How good was it?  It made me question whether or not I had ever ate a real French Dip before as nothing I'd ever tasted was remotely as good.

Then, came the two burgers...

Døgnvil (the long-standing, Oslo's #2 burger spot) offered two sliders that were mind-numbing... One was called The Dutch and it featured pickled onion, gouda cheese, and their special, burger sauce that made me sit down (which was problematic as the ground was wet... I had to walk around with wet pants afterwards).  Their other concoction was called BCN and it had grilled Chorizo, Smoked Gruyère, and herb mayo.  I began eating it and felt my insides melt.  However, about halfway through, I detected a salty element and wondered if there was some hidden ingredient I had missed.  It took me a couple seconds to realize that it was just the taste of my own tears.  It was that good.

Alt for Norge

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Surviving Oslo Musicfest 2013

I'm no longer young and cool (or, rather, I no longer have the illusion of being young and cool... if ever I had been the latter is debatable).

I'd been aware of this fact for some time, but a three-hour whirlwind through the crowds and music of the 2013 Oslo Musicfest (Oslomusikkfest) confirmed this truth.

I thought of writing a running diary for the proceedings, but that seemed silly considering the fact that my experience was only 180 minutes of a possible 12 hours and a decent portion of what little time I did commit was spent walking between venues.

So, in lieu of a blow-by-blow, here are a sampling of the highlights (Please keep in mind that I only visited 7 of the 20 venues and only saw 8 bands):

Best Setting I visited.  The Kristparken venue was epic.  The park itself is little more than a huge courtyard between a kindergarten, Church of Sweden's Norwegian headquarters, and the Norwegian Dental headquarters.  There are numerous trees and wide alleyways leading in, so there was a cool breeze and dabs of sunny spots.  It was packed and it was a festive crowd (i.e. there was a lot of marijuana being smoked).  It most embodied the idea of a music festival (at least, as I have known them).  Unfortunately, they had a less than ideal vendor situation (the lines spanned the width of the courtyard) and the sound was distorted.  Which did no favors for the sounds of Man the Machetes and Blood Command.

Most Enjoyable Venue I visited.  Strangely, the Vulkan Scene provided the best combination of space and sound.  There were more tables and chairs brought in for sitting, as well as beer being sold from multiple spots to avoid long lines (50 kroner/$8.33 for 33 cl beers, that's an ounce less of a standard, American beer can).  The stage was set-up at the bottom of the stairs, providing good acoustics.  The wide walkways could've accomodated 500 people (it was about 1/7th that number in attendance). 

Worst Venue I visited.  While it had one of the better programs, Cafe Sør was unbearable.  There was approximately 290452834982734 people squeezed into an indoor and outdoor area meant for about 75.  However, the sound was exquisite (which makes sense as it was one of the few places that actually hosted music on a semi-regular basis).  A shame because I would've loved to have stayed through EMILY's whole set, but I just couldn't...  People-induced claustrophobia is a real thing, I think...

Most bizarre question I was asked.  Can me and my wife have your mulatt babies?  (I'm paraphrasing and this ended my first stint at Kristparken)

The one scene that is impossible to describe but I will try anyway.  There are few places that combine the unintentional comedy of people trying to look tough in bright colored clothing and oblivious, drunk white girl dancing (Oh my God!  Is that racists!?!?!?  I didn't mean for it to be, like, racists!!) better than Turkish Delight.  Though, this all pales in comparison to the awkward, reggaeton stylings of Son of Light!

Best Band.  I guess the perfect combination of space, sound, and charm of Vulkan was aided by the fact that the perfect band was playing, DUDES.  Now, please don't take this to mean that I think the band, itself, is perfect (or even very good), but, as so often happens in life, the combination of their energy, the setting, and the crowd's reaction (somewhere between riotous and perplexed excitement) just made the set unimpeachable.  What were they saying?  I don't know.  But they meant it!  Also, the drummer looks like Micheal Cera and their base guitarist looked and dressed just like the Don Dawson character in Dazed and Confused.

Why Did I Lead into this post with melancholic musings on youth lost?  Well, the following four reasons... 1) Because I didn't understand any of the clothing the trendy concert goers were wearing (I saw an assortment of "NOFX" and other mid-90s screamo bands.  I couldn't tell if people had these on to be ironic or to chalk it up to their Norwegianness... I feel like, with most things, the answer lies somewhere in-between);  2) I didn't understand the appeal of most of the bands (granted, when you're playing a free event, you tend to not have Kanye West or Counting Crows show up); 3) I just referenced Counting Crows like they released a relevant album in the past decade; and 4) I was pretty done after three hours.  There was still more to see, but I wasn't up for it.   

That's pretty much all I have.  Youngstorget was a complete and utter debacle of people (there was at least 300-500 people milling in-between a logjam of two stages with music that ran over each other and a dozen vendor stands selling everything from Eastern scarves to cowboy hats) and Revolver was nondescript (there's only so many ways to describe loud rock).

ALT FOR NORGE

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Surviving Hurricane Pop Culture

This past week something unprecedented happened here in Oslo.  Four, major North American icons descended upon town (Not to mention the 50,000 crazed Norwegians that packed Valle-Hovin for a Metallica show on the preceding Wednesday).  Kanye West, Jay-Z, Justin Bieber, and Hillary Rodham Clinton (yes, she still counts as an icon).  To make matters even crazier, Oslo was the epicenter for one of the most widespread public sector strikes in years which saw "over 300 police officers" pulled.  That may not seem like such a high number, by its self, but, when put in perspective (there's only 11,000 employees in the Police Service... for the WHOLE COUNTRY), it's downright staggering.

So yes... things were a little crazy here.

Oslo had a severe case of Bieber Fever

Here's a quick, run back to how it all went down.

MONDAY


While those of you back in the US celebrated Memorial Day (Or, as it should be known in Europe, "You're welcome" Day... Joking! Joking!  Calm down), here in Oslo, Watch the Throne day fell on the state church holiday of "Pentecost".  Things were relatively quiet around town as people took advantage of the three day weekend and splendid weather to go to their cabins in the country-side or down to the beaches in the Oslo Fjord.  Norwegians love for getting out into nature combined with the advantageous concert location (Telenor Arena... located in the Fornebu region of Greater Oslo.  Which is as close to the heart of the city like Fed Ex Field is to downtown DC, Candlestick Park is to downtown San Francisco) lead to a relatively non-influenced day.  There was extra traffic and people congestion down by the National Theatre area as it was tipped off that that's where the two stars were staying in a hotel there (maybe the two floors of blocked out rooms was a giveaway).  There concert went off without much incident (No excessive repetition of songs) and they were able to get out of town.  Which, as it turned out, would be for the best

TUESDAY


Maybe I'm out of touch with popular culture (ok... I am out of touch with popular culture), but I had NO idea just how big Justin Bieber had become, especially here in Norway.  Before his plane could touch down at Oslo International (Gardermoen is not exactly JFK or Dulles), thousands were camped out waiting to just get a view of their idol.  Things only got more nuts as the day continued.  My bus had to go through the heart of the Bieberness (Jerbanetorget... the central station and right next to the hotel the Biebs was staying).  What was normally a 20 minute ride was rendered into an hour slog as an inordinate number of people and cars were literally parked out on the streets around the area hoping to see Bieber.  How bad was the situation?  Bieber had to be airlifted from the hotel to a floating stage behind the Opera house in the harbor where he was to perform.  Were there a lot of fans there waiting?

Yes.

How bad did it get?  They almost called a "State of Emergency".

Things only got more bananas after the show, when young Justin tried to move through the streets toward a scheduled press conference and all hell broke loose amongst the thousands of excited, teenage girls

Now, besides the fact that there are quite a few guys chasing the cars, the shocking lack of police cannot be overstated.  They underestimated well... everything.  The result were over 45 people injured in the melee and one cancelled press conference.  Oh, by the way, when I was attempting to come home well after this whole scene at around 11pm, it still took nearly double the normal time.  Bieber FTW.

FRIDAY


Well, Hillary seems happy to be here.  I asked a handful of people through the street and around the Royal Palace what their thoughts were about the Secretary of State coming through (she was handing out "thanks a lot!" for NATO support, as opposed to other countries who didn't contribute as much as others *cough* Germany *cough*).  The answers I got were really insightful:

"She's here?  Like now?"
"I wish it was her husband instead."
"Is Obama coming, too?  No? Oh..."

That's right, world... Oslo has taken your best shot from the celebrity world and, like a erstwhile, British orphan, they're asking for some more.  Bring on the POTUS!  Norway is ready...

Alt for Norge

The 'Vanger and a good-bye

I know I usually make new posts on Friday, but, due to traveling we're going to pretend like today is Friday (I'm sure many of you wish that was the case).  So what's new?  Oh, I spent the weekend in Stavanger (or, as I like to call it, the 'Vanger).

That may be the entire population of the 'Vanger in this picture!

It was a pleasant flight (around an hour) in which I learned that "Never Let Me Down" is the best Kanye West song (Spotify!!!).  Very important information.

Anyway, the 'Vanger is a sleepy, coastal town (The most reoccurring, apt description of it that came to me was "a beach town without a beach", but, as it was later pointed out, there were small beaches all around... so there's that).  It also has a lot of diversity (by Norwegian standards), and its reflected all throughout the city.  Despite the fact that it has over 100,000 people, it never felt like more than a few hundred, but it didn't take an inordinate amount of time to go to any point in town.  Unfortunately, bad weather kept me from going out to Pulpit Rock, which is a real shame as I'm told that its better than the Grand Canyon (strangely, none of the Norwegians who told me this had been to the Grand Canyon, but, since I didn't make it to the PR, I can't weigh in, either).

Cannonballs are strongly discouraged

That's pretty much all there is to say about... oh, right.  They have a bit of oil.   Ok.  A lot of oil.  So much, in fact, that its drawn a lot of international companies (most notably, Haliburton and ConocoPhillips) as well as "international, sister cities" (which, I think is akin to having followers on Twitter).

However, it wasn't all ballerific.  As I previously mentioned, the hundred thousand or so 'vangerians are spread out, but, unlike in Oslo, there wasn't much in the way of public transportation to connect them.  Which meant a lot of driving and taxis (which escalated in price quite quickly).  Also, as previously mentioned in this space, the North Sea goes hammer and that means unseasonable weather... How unseasonable? you may ask...

It snowed.

Multiple times.

It wasn't a rarity, either.

All I could think about was my last post (how's this for irony, almost the entirety of last week here in Oslo had 70+ fahrenheit temperature... seems my blog questions get answered!) and realize that I never had it so well...

Remember to "like" me on Facebook (Facebook.com/OSLOst).

Sorry to turn my previously lighthearted spot into more sadness, but this past week, Norwegian swimmer, Alexander Dale Oen, died at the unfairly young age of 26.  While, it is unfortunate when anyone dies, especially someone at such an early age, it is even more disheartening as Oen's win at last year's World Championships in the 100 m breaststroke came only three days after the terrorist attack.  It was a glimmer of the beauty that this country is possible of producing in the face of its most ugly, vile capabilities.  Just a brief tour of Youtube/Google/Facebook will show just what he meant to this country.  Oen's accomplishment will, and should, never be forgotten.

Alt for Norge

I like new friends!

So... Thanks for reading the blog! ("welcome back!!" to those that are in the 55 strong, "what took so long?" if this is your first journey).

Since my initial post, I've been flooded with questions.  Though, I guess, the biggest question is what my day-to-day life is like.

I'm not going to lie, I definitely thought I'd stick out on my daily life here, but Oslo has proven to be diverse, and not in the way I originally thought.  So... does that mean its a utopia?  Not quite.  In fact, oddly, it has almost as confusing a grasp on the race relation puzzle as America.  Though, for radically different reasons.

Clearly, America has the whole "260 years of enslavement and another 100 years of second class citizenry of blacks, plus the genocide of an indigenous people, plus the accepted racism against various immigrants" going for it.  Norway, on the other hand, has an extremely apologetic population trying to accommodate people they never really wronged (I suppose one could say the same for most present day white's in America, though, the difference being that present day whites in America, to varying degree, have benefited from the past.  Norway never had a past to benefit from or make amends about).

All pretty confusing, right?

Anyway, like with most european countries, the general population is welcoming, especially towards Americans.  Though, a willingness to try to assimilate is always welcomed and, generally, the only hand wringing I've seen have been in relation to the more extreme forms of Islam.  Though, that's more of a western world, as a whole, problem.  Additionally, Norwegian culture is quite distrusting of strangers, except when they get drunk.

That being said... I'm meeting a lot of new people and having fun over here (I'd say that 2 out of 10 people smile and nod at me, that number jumps to 8-9 when they hear me speaking english... they'll either tell me about some thrilling, American vacation or some insight they have in to American politics.)

All in all, things are good... (as opposed to being bad... meaning bad, not bad meaning good)

Rap lyric I'd incorporate into a song if I were a rapper:
Beer cost almost ten bucks a piece, I still spill more/ Spring must be coming, Sun don't set until four!