Oslo Street Food Fest and IKEA (not in that order)

I was trying to get back on my regular schedule, but I spent yesterday assembling IKEA furniture.

Thankfully, it went better than this

Maybe its the close proximity to its place of origin, but I found putting together the furnishings easier than I previous had with other IKEA purchases.

Procuring the items were another matter altogether.

The IKEA we went to was in the neighboring town of Bærum.  The 20 km were traversed by a free, express, hourly shuttle from downtown Oslo.  We embarked and IKEA'd are brains out (Rather my girlfriend fiancé did as I have little no opinion on duvets and dining room table chairs) and, when we were ready to leave, found we had a little problem.

How would we get all of our stuff home?  (I won't say "furniture" because, as you know with IKEA, it was a pile of flimsy wood and bags of nuts and bolts)

The first option was to have them deliver it.  That wasn't tenable as our spending had pushed us into a higher delivery cost (Because, whenever you can incentivize people to purchase less, you always do it... Consumerism works differently here than back in the US).  Thus, we had to go with renting a car which was cheaper and went well (except for having to return the car and wait 40 minutes for the next bus to take us home... that sucked).

All in all, a good IKEA day.  I even got Meatballs!  Happy 50th birthday, IKEA - Slependen!!

Speaking of food...

The one thing I am critical about here in Norway is the food (not the homemade food... All of that has been awesome!).  You don't have to scan back over past blog posts, but yeah, I talk about it... A lot.

However, I must give it up to Oslo (well, the Mathallen) for their amazing Street Food fest.

There were between 20-30 vendors (it was a rainy day and a lot of the booth were not prepared for the downpour so there was a lot of combinations) and all types of amazing food (well, except for Norwegian Kimchi... Not Yet!).  I settled on trying various seared lamb and moose ribs (free sample, so it was like a spoonful and 1/3 a rib so I didn't get enough to make a firm conclusion on either, but I will say that seasoning is not a key feature of cuisine here) and reindeer kabob (oh have mercy, percy was it good!  I take back the "seasoning" snide remark I just made).  However, the standouts were the french dip sandwich made by an actual Frenchman (alas, the meal was created in California, but, by a Frenchmen...  That counts, right?).  How good was it?  It made me question whether or not I had ever ate a real French Dip before as nothing I'd ever tasted was remotely as good.

Then, came the two burgers...

Døgnvil (the long-standing, Oslo's #2 burger spot) offered two sliders that were mind-numbing... One was called The Dutch and it featured pickled onion, gouda cheese, and their special, burger sauce that made me sit down (which was problematic as the ground was wet... I had to walk around with wet pants afterwards).  Their other concoction was called BCN and it had grilled Chorizo, Smoked Gruyère, and herb mayo.  I began eating it and felt my insides melt.  However, about halfway through, I detected a salty element and wondered if there was some hidden ingredient I had missed.  It took me a couple seconds to realize that it was just the taste of my own tears.  It was that good.

Alt for Norge

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A Holiday Market and A Whale

December brings with it winter and the holidays.  Which, in Norway, means a variety of things.  Two of my favorite are: 1) Juleøl

Dark.  Smooth.  Perfect

and the other is the Christmas Market (or Julemarked).  

The sky is not really that dark... well, not all the time

The Christmas Market is cool because there's interesting decor there (Elk Antlers piled upon each other gives new meaning to the phrase:  Racks on Racks on Racks), random animal sightings (I saw a Reindeer walking down the streets of Oslo... contrary to popular belief, that's not a regular occurrence), and, of course, goofy sweaters (jeg elsker norske genser!).

However, I found something new that I had been thinking about since I first came to the land of moose in sunset, whale.  Not like whale, but whale... All jokes aside, Norway only hunts the Minke Whale.  Which is neither intelligent (like, say, pigs) nor cute (like, say, baby carrots... you veggies can get it, too!).  Moving along...

You 'bout to be dinner, homie... 

I wanted to try whale and the market happened to have a stand that sold it.

The following conversation happened:

Me: Do you sell whale?

Stand Owner: Yes

Me: Can I purchase some?

Stand Owner: Yes [awkward pause] would you like to buy it now?

Me: That was my intention

Stand Owner: You must taste if first

Me: Ok [Lady hands me pinkish-dark red meat on a tooth pick] 

Stand Owner: This whale is so fresh. It was just caught.

Me: Seriously?  Like you just got this right now?

Stand Owner: From the ocean to you to... where are you from?

Me: United States

Stand Owner: And you want to eat whale?

Needless to say, it was a memorable exchange (though, no where near the most bizarre I've had in Norway), but not as memorable as the whale tasted.  It was sweet and savory, but a cool touch.  Like Salmon Sashimi but much better.  

So yes, I ate whale and I liked it.  I also ate an Elk burger and that was not quite as enjoyable, but very tasty.  I would've eaten dodo bird eggs and Manatee steaks, but those stands weren't open.

I jokingly said that my latest dietary adventure made me a "monster", but it doesn't because it is the diet of the land where I live.  This holiday season, I got the gift of assimilation (well, sorta... I'm not doing lutefisk.  Sorry).

Alt for Norge

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Thanksgiving in Norway

In previous blog entries, I have noted that there are some Fall holidays here in Norway, but nothing remotely close to the American celebration of Thanksgiving.  The lack of the holiday may be a good thing as there was no systematic genocide of an indigenous people to commemorate... but hey, why focus on the negative?  Turkey is delicious!

Who needs a baster?  We get it in with a ladle, son! 

So... What did your American-in-Norway do to commemorate the day?  Well... I moved a mattress.  

I guess that requires some background.  You see, our mattress here has been the source of much consternation (i.e. griping in the morning when awaking with sore backs) for some time and, buoyed by the holiday spirit, it was time to purchase a new bed.  

For anyone whoever said that "vacations" and "bathroom habits" are the tests of a relationship has never had different bed preferences than their significant other (alert: First World Problems!!!).  After an hour in Norway's Bed Center (really, that's the name... Norges SengSenter.  It really might be one of a few, non-IKEA bed options in the Eastern part of the country), we were deadlocked between the Memory Foam Mattress (my pick largely based on the commercials I use to see in the States all the time... I have no shame admitting that) and the HR Foam.  After countless trials on each (don't worry, I'm almost done), my inability to differentiate gave the deciding vote to the HR Foam (in hindsight, it was the right choice... better support).  Awesome.  The bed was delivered on Thanksgiving Eve and, to my chagrin, the removal of the old one was going to be almost 100 dollars (550 nok).  Not having it.

So.  The following day, me and a good friend took the leftover mattress down to my storage unit to await an unsuspecting dugnad dumpster.  Progress!

So, uh yeah, where do we put the unwanted beds?

For the actual celebration, we had to wait until that Saturday.  Friends came over and the lady cooked her tail off (Squash Casserole, Candied Yams, Mashed Potatoes, Brussels Sprouts, Green Beans, Stuffing, Pumpkin pie, Apple Cake, and a stupendous turkey)

friends brought goodies (wine, beer, aquavit, and scallop potatoes with bacon)

So yeah... It was a great celebration.  We went around the table and said what we were thankful for over the past year, we laughed and shared stories about each other, and we played a board game.  Most importantly, we enjoyed, and were thankful, for each other's company.  Which, regardless of where you are or come from, is the true meaning of Thanksgiving.

Alt for Norge

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You can get with this... or you can get with that

Norway isn't Sweden.

Norway, also, isn't America.


I don't know if I've made that fact clear over the eight or so months of this blog (save the summer vacation break).

The two countries are different, not radically different (yeah, the whole "different language" thing jumps out at you...), but different (but, Norway and America are WAY similar than Belgium and the good ol' USA).

It's not a bad thing (something I had to remind myself early on...), but it can lead to a lot of "Wait.  What?" moments.


For Example:

Numerous items in supermarkets are sold based on weight (i.e. Carrots cost 51 kroner a kilogram), not that much different than in the states (well, carrots wouldn't run like $4 a pound unless you were in Alaska, but I digress).  However, in Norwegian supermarkets, there are no scales to ascertain how much one has procured of said product.  I didn't realize this the first time I went to a Norwegian supermarket and proceeded to walk around the store for like twenty minutes searching for a scale.  I ended up almost sending six apples through the bread slicer (if you're scoring at home, yes... there's a fancy, bread slicer, but no scale).  It wasn't like I wanted to only buy 60 kroner worth of apples, I was curious how many grams equaled six apples (approx. 720 grams).  A buddy of mine just chalked it up to the "Norwegian way", but I have definitely seen people sneaking scales into the supermarket.

Whatever.  I've adapted by guessing the weight and, when I'm right, I break out the Anne Hathaway...

Fine, something non-food related...

Alcohol cost more in Norway.

Though, its not to say that all the differences are bad or annoying.

Here is an Oslo, city bus

It is cleaner and runs on a vastly more efficient system than virtually every major city bus I've rode in the states (NYC, Baltimore, DC, San Diego, Chicago, Philadelphia).  A lot of the bus lines (particularly the one I frequently ride) run 24-hours a day.

Additionally, there is a flat rate for Bus, Subway, and Light Rail (all vastly cleaner and efficient) so there's no figuring out if you have enough on your travel card (I think NYC is also the same and I know the bus and subway in Baltimore are the same, but who takes those?).

Anyway, the longer I live here, the more I appreciate what makes Norway unique and cool (speaking of cool, it snowed twice in the past week... Fall doesn't linger here).  It's a special place with a lot of interesting food and culture.  Writing this blog has been my way to share with you all how fortunate I feel to be having this experience...

Instead of sharing more sweet and corny sentiments, I'm just going to post another funny, norway related .gif

ALT FOR NORGE

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Absentee and Norwegian Cuisine

Due to the course of human life continuing even when unnoticed, the every four year cycle has returned again.

It's election time...

This is a big deal for me because I have never filled out an absentee ballot.  I figured it would be pretty easy.  I could log-in to a secure, government server, punch my ballot online, and be done with it.  Seriously, this was the 21st century, I sort of expected there would be an app for it.

Unfortunately, this isn't the case...

Though, with good reason, it seems the internet is still the wild west...

So, while I was able to register online (oddly, they make you go through the whole registration process like you're signing up to vote all over again...), I had to print out my actual ballot and mail it in.

The process was very convoluted and almost self-defeating in a way (in addition to having to fill out an awkwardly constructed, questionaire-like sheet with my ballot choices, there was very specific instructions.  You cannot erase.  You cannot use anything but a #2 pencil... which is weird because a human would look at it, not a machine...), I pressed on.  Though, I felt somewhat guilty voting on some of the choices.

The obvious options (President, Senator, District Representative... shout out to Elijah Cummings!, Same sex marriage, expanded gambling) were easy, as I'd read up on those all summer during my sabbatical/diaspora, as well as followed the developments via internet channels.  However, choosing who I wanted for School Board Representation wasn't easy.  I had no clue who any of the people were and I wouldn't be affected by the choices, as I was some years removed and don't have any children or extended family in the school system.  Thankfully, the internet provided a snappy detailing of the candidates (including one who is a senior at my alma mater... Yes, a 17-year-old is running for the School Board.  Only in America)

In other news, awesome girlfriend provided me with two, new Norwegian dishes.

Fårikål

My Take: The dish was very tasty.  It's an interesting thing with culture.  There are people who live thousands of miles away from each other and have no interaction, yet, there are a lot of dietary similarities.  I make that observation because, growing up, my mother (who learned it from her maternal  side consisting of Caribbean and Native American roots) would often stew cabbage with meat (albeit, that was usually turkey or pork... there were occasions when the meat of choice would be sheep).  Anyway, I had never quite had a meal prepared in this matter and I'm glad to have added it to my dietary experience.

Klubb

My Take:  Another, awesome dish and experience.  Klubb are potato dumplings, but done in a way that is slightly different than how I've ever had them (personally, pierogies are still king).  They're a mixture of mashed, boiled potato and grated, raw potato, drizzled (or drenched... I don't have a good hand for pouring) with butter and ate alongside salted meats and beer.  

These two dishes are traditional, fall dishes that helps me to feel even more Norwegian.

oh, and shame on me for not talking about the awesomeness that is Lefse earlier... it is like a churro, but not nearly as messy and with your mouth feeling like it may cry with enjoyment.  Or something like that...

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Alt for Norge

So, yeah... Fall

Not sure if my last post conveyed it or not, but fall is upon us.  Which, in Norway, is harder to notice.  True, the air has that crisp smell to it and the trees are turning colors (I swear, it feels like the leaves change earlier here... but it's probably just a misrememberance born out of the disassociation of being in a new place at a new time of year for the first time) and the berries in the markets are being replaced with apples...

Yet still... It doesn't feel all that different than spring (Not like the trappings of the States).

The sun (when it I see it... it still does that "rain 4 days a week" thing) is doing this weird thing where it's not quite up and it never quite sets.  Sunrise just feels like a prolonged glare from around six a.m. for the next few hours.  The sunset isn't much different.  It's a little after six now and I've been staring at dusk for an hour and I know it won't really be dark for another couple of hours.  Norway, everyone, where the sun never can say goodbye.

Though, one noticeable element of Fall is the cuisine.  Fall means it is officially lamb season.  Which means Faarikaal (Lamb with cabbage), Smalahove (Sheep's head... and Americans think chitlins are gross!), and, my favorite, Pinnekjøtt (simply saying its "smoked salted lamb or mutton" doesn't do it justice).  I haven't had the first two, but I'm making plans for the first and the second... well, I'm making plans for the first.  Also, I have a date with reindeer pizza... That's right, Rudolph comes with cheese and sauce now (in fact, it's a fairly common thing that I feel cheated on having not tried here... same as whale, but that's another post for another day).

Anyway, it is really fall here in Norway now (50 degree temperatures for everyone!).  If the shortening days and colorful trees didn't alert me, the ever-present smell of burning lamb fat has conveyed such.

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Alt for Norge (before we eat them... før spiser vi dem)

tilbakken

So yeah... you're probably like "wait... didn't there use to be awesome blog entries on this page like twice a month?" (well, a boy can dream...).  You're right.  I took a break.  Like from Norway.  I was in exile in America (details aren't really all that interesting or uncommon), but now I'm back.

Were they happy to see me?

You could say so...

In any case, I thought I'd shape my first return entry with what I did in America.  However, I figured that would be antithetical of what this blog should be about (really, it wasn't that much fun), I started writing this to detail about how I found the moods of Norway.  So, I returned earlier this week and, like the two times before, I immediately became sick.

Not like, sick sick, but sick enough that my stomach felt like Prince Harry was throwing a party inside it.  Before, I had chalked it up to excitement (my first time!!) or stopping over in Iceland, but this time there was no direct cause (of course I was excited, stay with me here).  I decided to start looking in to a red thread... a similarity between each of the trips.  Finally, after ruling out the insane (global conspiracy to force me to stay in America where I will become a manchurian candidate and bring about world war 3) and the plausible (air pollution withdrawal), I figured it either came down to my girlfriend making me sick (I'm allergic to adorableness!) or the one thing I'd had each time. Water.  That's right, in an ironic twist, the most essential thing I needed was making me sick.

A short search confirmed my fears.  Over 22 percent of the water pipes were made between 1941 and 1970s?!?  Imagine how far technology has come sense then!  Would you trust your life to a car made between 1941 and 1970s everyday on your commute to and from work?  This is awful!!  I'm going to need a Brita and to boil the water I bathe myself in.  Or maybe a britta filter to tape to the shower head.

What's this?  A detailed study and it says that the "22% water pipe" thing refers to an estimate done in 2010, and, of those pipes, the majority are secondary piping in rural regions and, subsequently, there have been over 10,000 projects a year to fix the problem.

Oh.

Maybe I am allergic to adorableness after all.

Alt for Norge

Norway's Bovine University

Since I have been in Norway, one of the most reoccurring questions I get from Norwegians are "Do movies accurately depict American life? While that is kind of a crazy question (I almost don't bring up the fact that I lived in Baltimore lest I be lambasted with "The Wire" questions... Though, that's something I'm asked by anyone who has never been Charm City) the other prominent query is totally legitimate. 

"What is the most noticeable difference between Norway and America?" 

Obviously, the language is the first and foremost, but, most Norwegians speak English (to varying degrees... but that's another blog entry).  There are numerous websites that will try and detail the major differences, but, for me, it comes down to food.

In addition to being one of the best Troy McClure shorts from, arguably, the best Simpsons' episode ever (Lisa becomes a Vegetarian... you still don't win friends with salad!), it is a great satire on the American cattle industry.  Like all satire, definition-alert, it is grounded in truth (see: pink slime).  We, as Americans, will eat anything with proper condiments on it.  One of my new teammates, who is also from the states, recently related an antidote about buying burgers back home that were so saturated, they actually ripped through the bag (I won't name the chain that it came from for fear of legal action... *cough* Golden Arches *cough*).

Conversely, here in Norway, the standards for the cattle industry, to quote the rapper/poet, Canibus, "are above precision".  The Norwegians only import American animal products that come from a certified EEA facility.  More so, prior to their EEA agreement in the early 2000s, Norway was even crazier about their food standards.  Up until a decade ago, synthetic coloring was banned (there was no yellow 5 scare!) and roughly 1/4 the additive sweeteners were allowed in foods.  Fast forward to today, where everything down to the feed (grass for my cattle!) and welfare (namely, the outdoor time, health monitor, regulation, etc) is extensively outlined in a comprehensive act that is constantly revised to ensure the utmost quality.

I'm not a doctor or a biologist, but I imagine this means the food is probably better for you...

Though, there is a downside... The portions are... uhmm... smaller.

Norwegian Portion

American Portion (I miss you, Alewife)

Though, I'm definitely more of a fan of the nutritional facts included in American food.

American Nutrition Facts... I am constantly checking to make sure I'm getting all my Riboflavin!

I would include the Norwegian version here, but its not really much:  Calories, Protein, Carbohydrates, and Fat.  

Yup... 

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Alt for Norge!