Norway, Scotland... Scotland, Norway

HAPPY 50th POST, OSLOst in SPACE!!!!!

Party time!!

Uhmm... Anyway, I apologize for my absence last week, but it was for a good reason.

I forgot.

But it's not like I forgot because I was watching an episode of "Boardwalk Empire", I forgot because I was getting ready to go to Scotland.

So yeah, I went to the northern part of the UK.  It was not an easy trip.  1 hour to Stavanger.  Switch flights.  2 hours to Aberdeen.  But it was pretty neat.

And it went like this:

We landed in the Aberdeen International Airport and, to my surprise, the Stavanger to Aberdeen flight had two people on it that were non-EU/EEA citizens.  Me and some other schmuck.  The reason I know this is that, upon entering into the airport and customs, there were two, distinct lines.  One for the EEA people and one for us "others".  

It was like landing in Dulles or JFK and smiling at all the doe-eyed, europeans as I breezed through my line to the front.

Simple problem.  I had to fill out a Landing Card.

Half the information, all the tediousness

As further testament to the irregularity that non-EU/EEA people (I'm tired of writing that, but it's an important distinction to make... If I were Albanian, I'd be in the same boat... well, no, that would probably be a much worse, and probably leaky boat because it's Albania... Jokes!  Calm down, readers in Tirana) make said flight, not a single stewardess had asked me if I needed a card nor were they readily available on the aircraft.  

No matter.  I had to fill it out (not like I had to get in the back of the line... I was the line) and then was on my way.  But not without this stamp:

Do not give him any money... But, like, we're not endorsing slavery.  You know, just don't let him preform any type of labor to be safe

UK wanted to make sure, under no circumstances, would anyone give me money.  My trip was to be a purely, one-sided fiscal relationship.  Which is strangely how I'd characterize my romantic relationships in my early to mid-20s.

So.

I'm in Aberdeen now.

Apparently, business takes of here

There's power and wealth and then there's the kind of power and wealth when you're on the money used in your own country.  Not sure what's going on with my hair here 

I'm an idiot because the funniest thing about the area where this picture was taken is that there were a dozen Scottish Flags (St. Andrew's Cross), one EU flag, and one Union Jack... They love England!

 Eventually, we left the airport.

To do so, we hired a driver that we shared with another couple also going to our destination.  As he was driving a sedan, there was only space for three in the back seat and I was left to get in the front.  As I moved to the front of the car, I noticed our driver opened the right, front door.  In my head I was thinking, What a cheeky lad (because I put on airs when I'm in Scotland, apparently), he's angling for a fat, nice tip he is.  As I attempted to get in, he stopped me and gave me a really funny look.

"Fixin' to drive, are ya, lad?"  He asked in a thick, Scottish accent (that probably goes without mentioning)

Taken aback, I looked in the car and saw that the steering wheel was, in fact, on the right hand side of the car.  Laughing, I went over and got in on the other side.  As I did so, I looked around and, it seemed, every other car was like this, too.  

Now, I realize that the UK and other British subsidiaries drive on the left-hand side of the road and their steering wheels are on the right-hand side of the car, but I just didn't really think about it until I saw it.  Also, even if you know you're going to see it.  It's still very disorienting.  I spent most of the trip in wonderment about the location of the steering wheel and the cars on the street (especially on two lane roads, when cars were whizzing by our right hand side, in the opposite direction, and in traffic circles/round-a-bouts).

I kept trying to step on the gas/break throughout the trip, too.  It really felt like I was supposed to be driving!

As for the rest of it, I was blown away by the number of rugby fields/pitches (there were a lot) and how they outnumbered soccer/football fields/pitches.  Also, I was surprised by the handful of field hockey fields/pitches and how, in the three days of our trip, we only saw boys playing it.  

The landscape was beautiful (especially the coast along the North Sea) and the countless, rolling hills and glens reminded me of Western Maryland/VA/Shenandoah Valley region of Maryland.  The big difference being that there were churches and castles that were hundreds of years older than the United States all over the place.

Sure, it was mostly windy and grey skies (I, jokingly, told a friend from England that the UK was "as green-grey blobby as I expected"), but it was fitting.  I imagine the place must've been divine in Fall when all the foliage was turning colors and the grey/gloom, with streaks of sun, would be more fitting.  

It was a touch warmer than Norway (and a whopping bit cheaper!), but that goes for most of the earth.  

I had fun (minus the 10 hours it took to get back to back to Oslo on Sunday) and would definitely consider living there.  Though, I think that has more to do with my fondness for Anglophone countries (It's such an awesome feeling when everything happening around you is in your native tongue), lower cost of living, and good whisky than any decided advantages over Norway.

But, for now I'm in Norway and I'm glad...

ALT FOR NORGE

Fine, jerks... Here's the pictures of me wearing a kilt

Tough guy picture

Playful picture

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Buy my non-Norway based book: http://www.amazon.co.uk/This-New-Normal-ebook/dp/B008M0GPW2

Letter home from Norwegian Summer (camp)

Dear Mom and Dad,

Sorry for not writing more lately, I've been caught up in the summer.

Where to begin?

Well, for starters, I passed on a trip down the coast to watch boats and eat ice cream so I could write this.  It wasn't a popular decision, but I had to catch you up on everything.

There was camping in the Oslo fjord.  It was great!  If you were on Facebook, you could see my photo albums, but I'll include some here.

The fishing didn't go so well.  It took me about three, different outings to figure out how to catch actual fish and not just seaweed.

But the swimming has been fun.  It started with the water being really cold!  Like 15 Celsius (59 Fahrenheit), but, in the last few weeks, its been up to 21 (69 Fahrenheit).  Which is pretty cool.  Not so cool is that most of the beaches are rocky and don't have the easiest exit strategies.

Of course, there have been a few nights out.

But, uhmm, there was also a field trip to the old harbor town of Skudeneshavn.

The crown jewel of this old town is the old, foghorn factory which is now a store... which doesn't sell foghorns. 

I know this letter is lacking in substance, but it's hard with the great weather outside.

See you again in August!  Until then, sun only sun!

Sincerely,

Son #2

Alt for Norge

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Buy my non-Norway based book: http://www.amazon.co.uk/This-New-Normal-ebook/dp/B008M0GPW2

NBA Finals 2013 and Maintaining one's American-ness Abroad

After living abroad for a year and a half (give or take a few months), the one thing that an ex-pat starts to feel is a disconnect with their homeland.

I'm not saying it's an absolute truth, it's just something that I've learned.

There are a few times I will do an overwhelmingly American thing (eat a greasy burger with my hands, drink a beer in public with no shirt on, impose my will on a small country... I kid) just as a reminder to myself that "hey, idiot!  You're an American!"

I say all of that to say that, last night, I stayed up until 6am to watch Game 7 of the NBA Finals (The championship for those of you who don't know).

While I'm not particularly a NBA fan (I have no favorite team and have only been to a half dozen actual, pro games), it felt like something that was important.  It was only the fifth time the title-deciding series had gone to the last game.  Plus, the world's best player (Lebron James) was battling against the player that most embodied stoicism and old-school efficiency (Tim Duncan).

The only hang-up was that the game started at 9:00pm east coast time, which made it 3:00 am Norway time.

That's a lot of lines between the East Coast and Central Europe

To prepare for the evening, I did what any good American would do.  I loaded up on caffeine drinks and alcohol just like the last time I decided to watch an American, sporting event after hours.

The hardest thing isn't the actual staying up (you just don't go to sleep), but the hours preceding the event.  What do you do?  I watched a movie (an ill-fated choice as I watched the incredibly underwhelming Seeking A Friend For the End of the World), I tried to watch that Bill Maher show (but that's sorta hard after he got sonn'd by Wayne Brady)...  Afterwards, I just watched Russell Brand do Russell Brand-y things and Amy Schumer be awkward.

Tangent.  Sorry.  Re-directing.  Re-directing

Anyway, soon, it was game time.  I was double fisting and had my browser tuned to NBA UK and my twitter feed primed in another window.  

20 min before game time, prediction time... Heat by 5. Btw, sun about to come up here in #Norway 2:40am #nbafinals pic.twitter.com/ut3FJ1wMMf
—  (@boomerOSLO) June 21, 2013

The game didn't disappoint.

Both teams battled fiercely, though, not always making for the prettiest basketball, but it was a memorable game.  I was only off by 2 points as the Heat won back-to-back titles.

However, it wasn't just the game that made the whole evening worthwhile.  The lack of sleep and energy drink induced rapid heart rate was vindicated by the feeling I got reading tweets and refreshing my Facebook newsfeed and seeing all my countrymen's comments.  We were all sharing in a collective experience at the same exact time.

We were connected.

The distance between here and where I grew up is a little over 6000 kilometers, but it felt like I transcended it for a few hours in the early, Scandinavian morning.

ALT FOR NORGE

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Buy my non-Norway based book: http://www.amazon.co.uk/This-New-Normal-ebook/dp/B008M0GPW2

  

tilbakken

So yeah... you're probably like "wait... didn't there use to be awesome blog entries on this page like twice a month?" (well, a boy can dream...).  You're right.  I took a break.  Like from Norway.  I was in exile in America (details aren't really all that interesting or uncommon), but now I'm back.

Were they happy to see me?

You could say so...

In any case, I thought I'd shape my first return entry with what I did in America.  However, I figured that would be antithetical of what this blog should be about (really, it wasn't that much fun), I started writing this to detail about how I found the moods of Norway.  So, I returned earlier this week and, like the two times before, I immediately became sick.

Not like, sick sick, but sick enough that my stomach felt like Prince Harry was throwing a party inside it.  Before, I had chalked it up to excitement (my first time!!) or stopping over in Iceland, but this time there was no direct cause (of course I was excited, stay with me here).  I decided to start looking in to a red thread... a similarity between each of the trips.  Finally, after ruling out the insane (global conspiracy to force me to stay in America where I will become a manchurian candidate and bring about world war 3) and the plausible (air pollution withdrawal), I figured it either came down to my girlfriend making me sick (I'm allergic to adorableness!) or the one thing I'd had each time. Water.  That's right, in an ironic twist, the most essential thing I needed was making me sick.

A short search confirmed my fears.  Over 22 percent of the water pipes were made between 1941 and 1970s?!?  Imagine how far technology has come sense then!  Would you trust your life to a car made between 1941 and 1970s everyday on your commute to and from work?  This is awful!!  I'm going to need a Brita and to boil the water I bathe myself in.  Or maybe a britta filter to tape to the shower head.

What's this?  A detailed study and it says that the "22% water pipe" thing refers to an estimate done in 2010, and, of those pipes, the majority are secondary piping in rural regions and, subsequently, there have been over 10,000 projects a year to fix the problem.

Oh.

Maybe I am allergic to adorableness after all.

Alt for Norge

Surviving Hurricane Pop Culture

This past week something unprecedented happened here in Oslo.  Four, major North American icons descended upon town (Not to mention the 50,000 crazed Norwegians that packed Valle-Hovin for a Metallica show on the preceding Wednesday).  Kanye West, Jay-Z, Justin Bieber, and Hillary Rodham Clinton (yes, she still counts as an icon).  To make matters even crazier, Oslo was the epicenter for one of the most widespread public sector strikes in years which saw "over 300 police officers" pulled.  That may not seem like such a high number, by its self, but, when put in perspective (there's only 11,000 employees in the Police Service... for the WHOLE COUNTRY), it's downright staggering.

So yes... things were a little crazy here.

Oslo had a severe case of Bieber Fever

Here's a quick, run back to how it all went down.

MONDAY


While those of you back in the US celebrated Memorial Day (Or, as it should be known in Europe, "You're welcome" Day... Joking! Joking!  Calm down), here in Oslo, Watch the Throne day fell on the state church holiday of "Pentecost".  Things were relatively quiet around town as people took advantage of the three day weekend and splendid weather to go to their cabins in the country-side or down to the beaches in the Oslo Fjord.  Norwegians love for getting out into nature combined with the advantageous concert location (Telenor Arena... located in the Fornebu region of Greater Oslo.  Which is as close to the heart of the city like Fed Ex Field is to downtown DC, Candlestick Park is to downtown San Francisco) lead to a relatively non-influenced day.  There was extra traffic and people congestion down by the National Theatre area as it was tipped off that that's where the two stars were staying in a hotel there (maybe the two floors of blocked out rooms was a giveaway).  There concert went off without much incident (No excessive repetition of songs) and they were able to get out of town.  Which, as it turned out, would be for the best

TUESDAY


Maybe I'm out of touch with popular culture (ok... I am out of touch with popular culture), but I had NO idea just how big Justin Bieber had become, especially here in Norway.  Before his plane could touch down at Oslo International (Gardermoen is not exactly JFK or Dulles), thousands were camped out waiting to just get a view of their idol.  Things only got more nuts as the day continued.  My bus had to go through the heart of the Bieberness (Jerbanetorget... the central station and right next to the hotel the Biebs was staying).  What was normally a 20 minute ride was rendered into an hour slog as an inordinate number of people and cars were literally parked out on the streets around the area hoping to see Bieber.  How bad was the situation?  Bieber had to be airlifted from the hotel to a floating stage behind the Opera house in the harbor where he was to perform.  Were there a lot of fans there waiting?

Yes.

How bad did it get?  They almost called a "State of Emergency".

Things only got more bananas after the show, when young Justin tried to move through the streets toward a scheduled press conference and all hell broke loose amongst the thousands of excited, teenage girls

Now, besides the fact that there are quite a few guys chasing the cars, the shocking lack of police cannot be overstated.  They underestimated well... everything.  The result were over 45 people injured in the melee and one cancelled press conference.  Oh, by the way, when I was attempting to come home well after this whole scene at around 11pm, it still took nearly double the normal time.  Bieber FTW.

FRIDAY


Well, Hillary seems happy to be here.  I asked a handful of people through the street and around the Royal Palace what their thoughts were about the Secretary of State coming through (she was handing out "thanks a lot!" for NATO support, as opposed to other countries who didn't contribute as much as others *cough* Germany *cough*).  The answers I got were really insightful:

"She's here?  Like now?"
"I wish it was her husband instead."
"Is Obama coming, too?  No? Oh..."

That's right, world... Oslo has taken your best shot from the celebrity world and, like a erstwhile, British orphan, they're asking for some more.  Bring on the POTUS!  Norway is ready...

Alt for Norge

17.5

May 17th is sorta an important day in Norway... ok, ok, ok.  It's THE MOST important day in Norway.  Since Norway has always been, more or less, an independent nation (or rather grouping of marauding Vikings... whichever term you prefer), it treats the day the Constitution (or most recent iteration of their government) was signed (1814, if you're keeping track at home) as their day to celebrate all things Norway.  Ever since I arrived here, I have been, constantly, told that "nothing compares to it" that it is amazing and quite the spectacle (in a good way).

You know what?  It was a pretty dope affair.

The first thing that caught my attention were the parades... oh, the parades.  There were three altogether.  Children's, Adult, and Military.  We opted for the children's version and were witness to ALL the children of Oslo.  Oslo is a little smaller than Baltimore (or Seattle) so, as you can imagine, that's a lot of kids.  They each had the banner from their school, or social group, and each kid was waving a flag.  The parade route went all the way to the Royal Palace where the King, himself, greeted each participant from his balcony several stories up.  The crowd joined in singing along to the national anthem (seriously, that thing has like a dozen verses) and random shouts of "hip hip hooray!".  In the distance, the Akers Fortress cannon fired off a few dozen times to let us know that the celebration was on.

As you can see in my video, there were a lot of people here to see the parade and celebrate the National Day.  It felt like every person in the greater Oslo area turned up and I can, honestly, say that there have been few other events I have attended where there were more people.

Another fun part of the day is that its tradition to eat ice cream and sausages.  Fine by me, after about ten minutes, I had a strawberry ice cream in one hand and a sausage in potato wrap in the other standing shoulder to shoulder with my new countrymen.  Many of them had on the traditional bunad while, a lot like me, were just in suits (though, other traditional clothing was welcome... there were a fair amount of dashikis).

This guy won the award for best bunad... oh, I'm mean mugging someone who cut in front of my picture... Norwegians can be jerks

Though, the highlight of the day (ok... one of the highlights.  The Russ impromptu dance party was pretty awesome, too.  I promise to write an article about that on Friday) was attending an international function after the parade.  There was free champagne and really good finger food (really, REALLY good shrimp).  Oh, did I mention the champagne was free?

Altogether, it really gave me some perspective on this odd nation.  Sure, Norwegians may be reserved and inwardly focused, but they love their own country and coming together to celebrate it.  While I still feel somewhat apart from this place and have questions than answers, at times, I understand celebrating your history and hopes for the future.  Seeing all the other people, of various ethnic backgrounds, gave me a sense that there was room here for everyone willing to do their part.  I look forward to my next May 17th and I hope that it happens here in Oslo.

Alt for Norge

The 'Vanger and a good-bye

I know I usually make new posts on Friday, but, due to traveling we're going to pretend like today is Friday (I'm sure many of you wish that was the case).  So what's new?  Oh, I spent the weekend in Stavanger (or, as I like to call it, the 'Vanger).

That may be the entire population of the 'Vanger in this picture!

It was a pleasant flight (around an hour) in which I learned that "Never Let Me Down" is the best Kanye West song (Spotify!!!).  Very important information.

Anyway, the 'Vanger is a sleepy, coastal town (The most reoccurring, apt description of it that came to me was "a beach town without a beach", but, as it was later pointed out, there were small beaches all around... so there's that).  It also has a lot of diversity (by Norwegian standards), and its reflected all throughout the city.  Despite the fact that it has over 100,000 people, it never felt like more than a few hundred, but it didn't take an inordinate amount of time to go to any point in town.  Unfortunately, bad weather kept me from going out to Pulpit Rock, which is a real shame as I'm told that its better than the Grand Canyon (strangely, none of the Norwegians who told me this had been to the Grand Canyon, but, since I didn't make it to the PR, I can't weigh in, either).

Cannonballs are strongly discouraged

That's pretty much all there is to say about... oh, right.  They have a bit of oil.   Ok.  A lot of oil.  So much, in fact, that its drawn a lot of international companies (most notably, Haliburton and ConocoPhillips) as well as "international, sister cities" (which, I think is akin to having followers on Twitter).

However, it wasn't all ballerific.  As I previously mentioned, the hundred thousand or so 'vangerians are spread out, but, unlike in Oslo, there wasn't much in the way of public transportation to connect them.  Which meant a lot of driving and taxis (which escalated in price quite quickly).  Also, as previously mentioned in this space, the North Sea goes hammer and that means unseasonable weather... How unseasonable? you may ask...

It snowed.

Multiple times.

It wasn't a rarity, either.

All I could think about was my last post (how's this for irony, almost the entirety of last week here in Oslo had 70+ fahrenheit temperature... seems my blog questions get answered!) and realize that I never had it so well...

Remember to "like" me on Facebook (Facebook.com/OSLOst).

Sorry to turn my previously lighthearted spot into more sadness, but this past week, Norwegian swimmer, Alexander Dale Oen, died at the unfairly young age of 26.  While, it is unfortunate when anyone dies, especially someone at such an early age, it is even more disheartening as Oen's win at last year's World Championships in the 100 m breaststroke came only three days after the terrorist attack.  It was a glimmer of the beauty that this country is possible of producing in the face of its most ugly, vile capabilities.  Just a brief tour of Youtube/Google/Facebook will show just what he meant to this country.  Oen's accomplishment will, and should, never be forgotten.

Alt for Norge

Break out the SPF

The past week in Oslo has seen temperatures threatening to push the mercury into the teens (celsius)/50s (farenheit).  Needless to say after months of mind numbing cold and treacherous ice (I'm not going to jinx my non-falling uprightness streak by mentioning it here), this is quite the development.  Maybe I've assimilated (at least in weather-related matters), because I'm almost as excited as the Norwegians (i dag vil jeg sole meg!)... I say "almost" because I wouldn't consider jumping in to the water in the picture above unlike many of my new countrymen.


This doesn't mean that I'm joining all the Ole's and Maja's in sipping coffee, enjoying outside seating, at the local kaffebrenneriet (that cold breeze off the North Sea ain't nothin' to play wit'!).  Nor does it mean I'm joining all the Mathias' and Linnia's (yes, I'm using this as an excuse to bust out crazy, Norwegian names) in hitting the trails for the last, good cross-country skiing of the season ("Matty, seriously, stop asking!  For the last time, jeg liker ikke langrenn!).  


Though, I will be enjoying the outdoors a little more than usual with some outings to Oslo's places to see and be seen.  There's something about the late winter days here that is hard to describe.  The sky, perhaps unfettered by the abundance of smog and suburban sprawl seemingly omnipresent on the east coast, seems almost to be... bluer.  Its like two shades deeper blue than the sky my eyes have grown accustomed to seeing over the years (then again, maybe that I'm just so unaccustomed to seeing the sky at all here that it just seems more blue).  Anyway, there is something here that I need to see.  And I will...

Pictures forthcoming.