Ylvis, Boxing, Omskjæring, Failure... Just another week in Norway

So... the shutdown is over.  Guess it's time to write another blog post...

Let's catch up on some of the headlines that have been in the news here since my last post.

Just the tip?

You won't believe how many pictures I saw that I can't unsee trying to find this... you're welcome

As I mentioned in my last post, Norway is under new management.  With a new leading party comes new policies and laws.  One of those being lobbied now is a ban on circumcision (to be fair, this has been in the mill for some time, but, with the new coalition consisting of ombudsman that champion the idea... the possibility is a lot more likely).

Male circumcision.  (As female circumcision is banned in most of the world)

For those of you who don't know, Americans can get wound up about this type of thing (granted, we get wound up about a lot of things).  I would strongly prefer for my son to be circumcised (so much so that I've been bringing this up at dinner parties since I found this out... I'm so popular) as, it seems, do a lot of Americans.  In fact, when an American city tried to defer the procedure until the young man being snipped could have an input in the matter, a city council quickly stepped in to prevent such a measure from ever passing.

Conversely, the movement for banning the circumcision for boys under their teenage years seems to be the majority sentiment.  Looks like all future children of mine will have a date with mohel.

Norway will not be going to Brazil... to play soccer

Despite having a pretty advantageous group (Switzerland, Iceland, Albania, Cyprus... Norway is actually second in population among the countries involved.  Which is pretty staggering odds considering that Norway ranks #25 in European Country population), the Norwegians finished a distant fourth in their UEFA World Cup qualifying group.  On the plus side, fellow Scandinavian country, Iceland, will get a chance to make it to their first World Cup.  The Norwegians will have to wait until 2018 to break a drought which will have reached 24 years.  Adding to the drama is that the long-time, beloved coach was forced out contrary to his, and a large percentage of the board's, wishes.

A Way to Make a Bus Trip in Oslo Extremely Awkward

If you're on a packed bus using your ipad as a large ipod and your headphones come unplugged and you hit play when this song is cued up

Holyfield can come to Norway now!  

Among the many odd things that I've uncovered here in Norway, this may be the most peculiar.  As I previously mentioned, the world's reigning, female welterweight champion is Norwegian despite the fact that there has been a professional ban on boxing for over a century.  Not anymore!  The new coalition has put an order in motion to strike down the ban which should appease the aforementioned, Evander Holyfield, who vowed never to step foot on Norwegian soil until the ban was revoked.  That's a stand for human rights!

Seriously... The Fox song isn't what Norwegian music is about

I never went gold off one song

Do you know what the worse thing about telling a good joke really well?  Many people are going to not realize it is, indeed, a joke.

Reading the article in the headline reminds me of this "Simpsons" episode where Homer creates a song and then goes from amused to excited to overwhelm to disgusted by it.  Which is a shame because, by all accounts, they seem to be two, goofy guys who just enjoy hanging out and making people laugh (which makes them like virtually every other guy in Generation Y).  Though, having a song that's top 10 on itunes is a good problem to have.  

If you're one of the millions that enjoyed their video, please make sure to check out their other, funnier songs.  My personal favorite is "Work it" (even if Veronica Flores would probably find it racist)

ALT FOR NORGE

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One Government Shutdown, Another Government switch-up

So.  The US Government is shut down.

This seems like a good time to explain how the Norwegian system is different (note: I didn't say better... but I, also, didn't say worse).

Norway is a democratic representative constitutional monarchy.  But that's a lot to say.  I just like to refer to it as a Social Democracy.  No.  Not in the way that North Korea or Congo are social democracies, but in the way that produces low unemployment, equal opportunity, and causes people to write articles like this. 

There's more, but they're not going to factor in much...

Norway, also, has the same three, branches of government:  Judicial, Executive, and Legislative (In the interest of being, well, interesting... I'm going to skip over the Judicial branch as it doesn't differ enough to warrant covering, save for the King, not the President/Prime Minister, having the ultimate "Get out of Jail Free" card)

Here's where things get a little word-y.  Stay with me.

That's what a King is supposed to look like

The Executive branch consists of a (mostly... remember his criminal absolution powers) King and his council of state.  Since I keep talking about him, I should probably mention him by name.  King Harald V is the Norwegian telling you to watch the throne.  He's cool, but his father, Olav V, was a straight G.

Anyway, King Harald V has his council of state (or referred to as King's Council) which consists of the Prime Minister and the Prime Minister's Council (really, the King is just co-opting the Prime Minister's council).  The Prime Minister is appointed by King Harald V (or whoever is the reigning monarch) is like the electoral college in the United States.  He awards the post to whomever is the leader of the party that wins the elections, holds the largest majority in the legislative branch (congress). 

To determine the largest majority, Norwegians go to the polls.  Just like in America, there are national elections every four years here.  In fact, it happened this past month.  Changes were made.

Can I just say how silly I think it is that Norwegians still use paper ballots... They're not voting for Homecoming King and Queen

For the previous eight years, the leading party had been the Arbeiderpartiet (Labor Party).  However, in an effort to dethrone their socially and fiscally-liberal opponents, the Høyre (Conservative) and Fremskrittspartiet (Progressive) parties joined forces.  In Norwegian politics, two parties can form a "coalition" and, in essence, they join forces (like a Portuguese Man-of-War) to gain more power in the political spectrum.

That's exactly what happened.

While the Labor Party maintained an overall advantage in the congress with 55 seats (garnered by gaining 30.8% of the vote), they lost nine seats (as they had 35.4% of the vote last election).  Those seats went to the Conservative party, who saw a gain of almost 10% (17.2 to 26.8%).  The Conservatives didn't bring much help as they lost twelve seats and six percentage points (22.9 to 16.3%).

Why the change?  It has little to do with the economy as Norway is humming along.  It was a variety of issues but, from my outsider viewpoint, it seemed to be a sense of fatigue.  The Labor Party had been running the show for eight years and people were ready for a change.  However, a change for changes' sake can be dangerous, especially when the party is talking about a "restoration of public trust" and "maximizing wealth for all it's citizens".  I know from personal experience.

Now.  I know what you're thinking.  Would this be like the Republicans and Tea Party beating the Democrats in America?  Not exactly.  While most Norwegians will be quick to note that all of their political parties would be "Democrats" in America, I think that isn't entirely the case as some parties have radically different views from one another (most notably Progressive and Conservative with regards to oil exploration, both are "drill, baby, drill!" and immigration, best not to bring this up, would definitely raise some eyebrows in the donkey party).

Regardless, there will be a change (I'm not just talking about the appointing of the second, female Prime Minister in the Conservative Party's Erna Solberg).

Ariel/immigrants are in trouble!

I guess I should probably run down the other parties...

The Conservative/Progressive coalition can't do it all on their own.  While they'll be the ones running the various ministries, they will be joined by two, non-socialist parties, Kristelig Folkeparti (Christian Democratic Party... Norway has a State Church who the King is upheld with protecting) and Venstre (Central Liberalism) in order to get majority votes on various bills/issues in the congress.

Opposing them, in addition to the Labor Party, is Socialistisk Venstreparti (Socialist Left), the EU-hating SenterParty (Center Liberalism), and Grønne (Green Party).

Additionally, there's a lot of other parties that have little to no parliament representation that, again, I'll skip over.  

Will much change?

Hard to say.  While the Conservative/Progressive have a lot of big ideas, the losses suffered by the Progressives in the elections will ensure that they'll need to compromise in order to get things accomplished.  Before the handover of power, outgoing Prime Minister, Jens Stoltenberg, in addition to driving a taxi, issued one of Norway's many debt-cancellations (Norway loves to forgive debt).  The sovereign wealth fund is a good problem to have, yet still a problem.

Though, despite how things go, it will not end in a government shutdown.  Norwegians, while passionate, determined, and, at times, stubborn, have a general sense of community and the common good over one's own self.  Regardless of your ideas of how to best help your countrymen, its understood here that you have to actually listen and compromise to help anyone. 

It is one of the ways where American individualism is detrimental (and one of the ways where Jante Law is beneficial).

Oh well.  Sorry for the billion hyperlinks.

ALT FOR NORGE

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Immigration (again): The Romani Problem

All immigrants are not created equal.

This is a pretty simple and important lesson to learn when moving to another country.

My American and UK friends are well versed and, as I approach the two year mark in my attempts at moving to Norway, I can say I have a better understanding of that truth in Norway.

The dirty, little secret is that not everyone will be a part of the "New Norway"

Just like in the aforementioned Anglo-phone countries, here in Norway, feelings on immigration tend to diverge with regards to members of the second/third worlds.  Unfortunately, it's a poor coincidence that this group (usually asylum seekers or just looking for a better life in economy-rich Norway) tends to be darker skinned and of a different ethnic/cultural background, linking Norwegians to the more unsavory elements of American/English culture.  

While it would be naive to think that these thoughts aren't present here in Norway, it would be accurate to say that the revolting ideology of hate groups are in the complete, extreme minority (like, .09% of the population).  However, those that share in the fear of a loss of national/ethnic identity are quite high.

I get it.

Being Norwegian is like a very select club of people who survived various periods of being invaded, invading others, emigration, and a bunch of plain, old bad luck.  I can't describe just how contemptuous Norwegians find Americans claiming kinship on the backs of forefathers (well, not all Norwegians feel this way).

Norwegians feel special and unique and that, with the pressing and invasion of globalization and various EEA agreements, they can feel those traits being warped and diluted.  With the economic downturn throughout most of Europe that Norway has survived and thrived through, that precarious feeling of self is being threatened by waves of Mediterranean jobseekers in addition to the usual groups.

One of the usual groups that incur the most wrath and judgement would be the Romani people.

Originating from the fringes of the EU allows the largely nomadic group more freedom (visa stay restrictions?  What visa stay restrictions?) than non-EEA country people (yes, this includes yours truly as well as citizens from other 1st world countries such as Canada, Australia, and New Zealand) to come to Norway.

The popular legend goes that droves of Romani come to Norway where they beg on street corners and hustle for cans (returning cans gives you significantly more than it does in select states, here is a great post about it).  They're organized by bosses that rotate and instruct them on how to look sad and needy. Meanwhile, other groups roam the countryside in large RVs looking for unattended cottages and homes to rob.

While this may be true on some level (the best part of the can collection is that every cookout in a park comes with a dutiful attendant eager to take your empty can), it can't possibly be the whole story.  

I did some research.

Norway isn't even a top ten destination for Romani (btw, America has the most with a little over one million.  Sweden with 50,000 has the largest population in Scandinavia) nor does it have the most contentious relationship (Keep it classy, Italy).  While there has been some rough areas, there largely seems to be just a "boogie man" used by society as a scapegoat for the big fear that looms over everything.  Change.

The world is changing.  There are more internationals pouring in to the major cities of the world every day.  Half of Oslo is constantly under construction creating new buildings and skyscrapers to house the ever-expanding large firms.  With prosperity and blessings come expectations and demands.  It should be noted that the Norwegian state does more than its part around the world, the average citizen can not be as selfless.  I may not be the best person to judge, but there is a disconnect between "Doing the right thing" and "Making sure there is a plan in place to maintain quality of life".  Which may be the reason the current majority party may lose next month's elections (among other reasons).  People want to feel guaranteed of the future despite the known logic that such a promise is impossible.

While I'm not advocating that the Romani are blameless (I've seen the vans drop off disheveled women.  I've seen the older men lecturing young girls on how to look more pathetic) and/or innocent (Dude, how you gonna be on your cell phone when you're begging for money?), the distrust of certain foreigners plays a role here.  As does the inability to formulate the place for old ideals and beliefs in a modernizing world.  It's not that the ways of the past have failed us or were wrong, they just apply to a life that may be impossible to live anymore (which may contribute to Norwegians obsession with nature).  

Or I could be completely wrong and Norway just needs to invest in more policemen and border control.

ALT FOR NORGE

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Catching Up and the path to Norwegian-ness

Wow... It's been 26 days since I last checked in (really, like 1.5 months since a real post).

It's been a summer.

As I'd previously noted, it was "Adult Summer Break" here in Norway which means that, for the majority of July, most Norwegians have either reduced working hours or off altogether (often a combination of the two).

I detailed most of my exploits in the last post and have been back to "life" for a few weeks ago.

So "Why no posts?" you may ask.  Well, it's hard to say because there's not really much I care to say.

If you do a quick google of "expat blogs", what you'll find is a plethora of personal diatribes that are, frankly, boring.  While a lot of my posts probably shade to that realm, I try to at least put together universal experiences that are either entertaining (beer festivals with the awesome Dutch!) or are written to appear as so (haircuts!).

So yeah, I'm not writing unless I have something I wish to share or someone asks me a question ("Hey, bro.  Is Norway a communist country?"  False.) 

My new favorite dessert!

I am now a resident (temporary) of Norway.

For those of you who are reading this and notice that this blog is almost two years old will probably be perplexed by that statement.  

Let me back-up.

I originally came to Norway on a Job Seekers exemption.  Which, as far as I can tell, is fancy language to explicitly mark the difference between non-EU/EEA countries.  People from developed, western nations, ok;  Everyone else, follow the "Apply-for-a-visa-wait-for-the-visa-come-here-for-three-months-return-home-poorer" process.

After my six months were up and I was unemployed, I returned to the Good, Ol' US of A.  No worries there (Unless you attended my "Going Away Party", then it was just awkward).  After another six months of bouncing around (the specifics aren't really important), I finally did the whole "Shucks, why don't we get married, I guess" romanticism with the girlfriend.

She said "meh... ok"

Artist rendering of her response to my proposal

And what followed was a eight month game of "send-us-the-paperwork-will-check-it-approval-it-change-our-mind-require-you-to-get-more-paperwork-tentatively-approve-it-make-you-go-to-a-dozen-different-offices-for-signing-off-and-stamping-not-to-mention-those-offices-are-poorly-run-and-smell-like-what-I-imagine-Asmara-and-Islamabad-smell-like" with a lot of old school waiting in-between.

The one bonus was that I was able to wait out the response here in Norway as opposed to America (though, its not like that was a huge bonus as I wasn't really eligible/allowed to work in Norway).

However, in the end, here we are.  I have a handy dandy card and, in a couple weeks, I'll be wearing a ring for the rest of my life or something like that.

Oh, and I found more Americans here and I still haven't caught a fish in Oslo yet.

The Fjord is barren.

Alt for Norge

Like me on Facebook: facebook.com/OSLOST

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