It's Not Summer WIthout You

1 degree (Celsius... 34 Fahrenheit)

That was the temperature when I woke up this morning.

Almost in disbelief, I went outside in jeans and my summer coat (that's a funny thing, before I came to Norway.  I had three coats.  One I wore in fall, one I wore when it was winter, and another I wore in both months when I was wearing something sorta fancy... Now, I have eight coats) and was quickly re-buffed.

It was, indeed, cold outside.

(I realize "cold" is relative, but, when you're anticipating low-teens Celsius/mid-50s Fahrenheit, getting smacked in the mouth with something quite lower than that registers as cold)

Autumn is leaving its mellowness behind for its spiky, rotted stage.  Don't remember summer even saying goodbye.

Fortunately for me, I had (at the behest of the lady) swapped out my summer clothes.

The week prior, I had carried up the winter clothes, in their dormant boxes tucked away in the back of the unit in the basement, to the apartment.  Then, solemnly, I folded and sorted which summery things I still dreamed of wearing between now and when the sun's warmth returned from those which I could go without (this seasonal change is the saddest I feel for inanimate objects... Sorry, threadless.com t-shirt. I just don't have space for you.  I don't like you any less... It just won't be that warm and... you'll understand when you're older?).  The unchosen were placed in the spot formerly reserved for the winter clothes, which, in turn, replaced the summery clothes spots in my drawers and closet, and then, I returned the boxes to their sub-terrain storage.

So, I'm not cold today.  Bring it on fall/winter.

ALT FOR NORGE

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Norway, Scotland... Scotland, Norway

HAPPY 50th POST, OSLOst in SPACE!!!!!

Party time!!

Uhmm... Anyway, I apologize for my absence last week, but it was for a good reason.

I forgot.

But it's not like I forgot because I was watching an episode of "Boardwalk Empire", I forgot because I was getting ready to go to Scotland.

So yeah, I went to the northern part of the UK.  It was not an easy trip.  1 hour to Stavanger.  Switch flights.  2 hours to Aberdeen.  But it was pretty neat.

And it went like this:

We landed in the Aberdeen International Airport and, to my surprise, the Stavanger to Aberdeen flight had two people on it that were non-EU/EEA citizens.  Me and some other schmuck.  The reason I know this is that, upon entering into the airport and customs, there were two, distinct lines.  One for the EEA people and one for us "others".  

It was like landing in Dulles or JFK and smiling at all the doe-eyed, europeans as I breezed through my line to the front.

Simple problem.  I had to fill out a Landing Card.

Half the information, all the tediousness

As further testament to the irregularity that non-EU/EEA people (I'm tired of writing that, but it's an important distinction to make... If I were Albanian, I'd be in the same boat... well, no, that would probably be a much worse, and probably leaky boat because it's Albania... Jokes!  Calm down, readers in Tirana) make said flight, not a single stewardess had asked me if I needed a card nor were they readily available on the aircraft.  

No matter.  I had to fill it out (not like I had to get in the back of the line... I was the line) and then was on my way.  But not without this stamp:

Do not give him any money... But, like, we're not endorsing slavery.  You know, just don't let him preform any type of labor to be safe

UK wanted to make sure, under no circumstances, would anyone give me money.  My trip was to be a purely, one-sided fiscal relationship.  Which is strangely how I'd characterize my romantic relationships in my early to mid-20s.

So.

I'm in Aberdeen now.

Apparently, business takes of here

There's power and wealth and then there's the kind of power and wealth when you're on the money used in your own country.  Not sure what's going on with my hair here 

I'm an idiot because the funniest thing about the area where this picture was taken is that there were a dozen Scottish Flags (St. Andrew's Cross), one EU flag, and one Union Jack... They love England!

 Eventually, we left the airport.

To do so, we hired a driver that we shared with another couple also going to our destination.  As he was driving a sedan, there was only space for three in the back seat and I was left to get in the front.  As I moved to the front of the car, I noticed our driver opened the right, front door.  In my head I was thinking, What a cheeky lad (because I put on airs when I'm in Scotland, apparently), he's angling for a fat, nice tip he is.  As I attempted to get in, he stopped me and gave me a really funny look.

"Fixin' to drive, are ya, lad?"  He asked in a thick, Scottish accent (that probably goes without mentioning)

Taken aback, I looked in the car and saw that the steering wheel was, in fact, on the right hand side of the car.  Laughing, I went over and got in on the other side.  As I did so, I looked around and, it seemed, every other car was like this, too.  

Now, I realize that the UK and other British subsidiaries drive on the left-hand side of the road and their steering wheels are on the right-hand side of the car, but I just didn't really think about it until I saw it.  Also, even if you know you're going to see it.  It's still very disorienting.  I spent most of the trip in wonderment about the location of the steering wheel and the cars on the street (especially on two lane roads, when cars were whizzing by our right hand side, in the opposite direction, and in traffic circles/round-a-bouts).

I kept trying to step on the gas/break throughout the trip, too.  It really felt like I was supposed to be driving!

As for the rest of it, I was blown away by the number of rugby fields/pitches (there were a lot) and how they outnumbered soccer/football fields/pitches.  Also, I was surprised by the handful of field hockey fields/pitches and how, in the three days of our trip, we only saw boys playing it.  

The landscape was beautiful (especially the coast along the North Sea) and the countless, rolling hills and glens reminded me of Western Maryland/VA/Shenandoah Valley region of Maryland.  The big difference being that there were churches and castles that were hundreds of years older than the United States all over the place.

Sure, it was mostly windy and grey skies (I, jokingly, told a friend from England that the UK was "as green-grey blobby as I expected"), but it was fitting.  I imagine the place must've been divine in Fall when all the foliage was turning colors and the grey/gloom, with streaks of sun, would be more fitting.  

It was a touch warmer than Norway (and a whopping bit cheaper!), but that goes for most of the earth.  

I had fun (minus the 10 hours it took to get back to back to Oslo on Sunday) and would definitely consider living there.  Though, I think that has more to do with my fondness for Anglophone countries (It's such an awesome feeling when everything happening around you is in your native tongue), lower cost of living, and good whisky than any decided advantages over Norway.

But, for now I'm in Norway and I'm glad...

ALT FOR NORGE

Fine, jerks... Here's the pictures of me wearing a kilt

Tough guy picture

Playful picture

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The Cost of Living the High Life

Norway is a pretty wealthy nation.

Based on last year's end-of-year numbers, it ranks in the top 5, globally, in both Purchasing Power Parity and Nominal GDP (both rankings are in terms of "per capita", an important distinction to make.  In terms of "gross", Norway doesn't rank in the top 20).  The abundance of riches are not just limited to monetary units, as Norway is rated as the global leader in human development (a seemingly unquantifiable thing to measure, but the process the UNDP uses is addressed, at length, via the link I've provided).

Not only does Norway create a conducive situation for their own citizens, they extend a helping hand to developing nations around the world as the globe's second-largest foreign aid contributor, in terms of percentage of GDP.  Also, while the number is in decline, Norway is the world's, 13th largest recipient of asylum seekers.

What does this mean in day-to-day life?

Norway is second-globally in wages and, while the citizens enjoy a plethora of upscale cars, multiple homes, and jet-setting vacations, Norway has one of the largest, maximum, personal income tax rates in the world.  If one were to read the Government's 2011 Tax Report such phrases that would be heresy in my native country are present, for example:  "redistribution of wealth", "fair tax system", and "plans to increase the pension income social security contribution" (there are a few, familiar phrases such as "90% of the equity is owned by 10%").

Puffy would probably not enjoy Norway

Taxes, like death, are unavoidable and profitable ($36 billion in Norway in 2010), but where the average person really feels the pinch is on the VAT.  Value Added Tax is basically a punishment for balling that only effects the buyer.  It isn't a godless, euro concept, it is present everywhere.  Even in America.  The US' version of VAT is the reason why gas and cigarette prices vary so much from state-to-state (well, partially the reason).  The main difference in how VAT is used in Europe (specifically in Scandinavia) on more products and with a higher rate of pay.

For food, there's a 15% rate and a variety of transportation, hotels, and entertainment come with a 8% rate.  While that seems hard to keep up with, it's nothing compared to alcohol.

A 12-pack of 12 oz (.355 liter) Sierra Nevada or Samuel Adams costs $14 on the east coast, but a six pack of half-liter (16.9 oz) Tuborg costs $25 in Norway.  There's a 25% VAT on alcohol + 5 kroner ($0.90) per can environmental VAT + 1 kroner pant ($0.17) per can.  Additionally, on wine, there's 4 kroners for every percent of alcohol (13% alcohol = 52 kroners/$8); on spirits, the cost rises to 6 kroners for every percent (40% alcohol = 240 kroners/$40).  This is before you factor in the soon to go into effect 5% increase in alcohol tax.

You have to pay the cost to be the boss.

ALT FOR NORGE

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Immigration (again): The Romani Problem

All immigrants are not created equal.

This is a pretty simple and important lesson to learn when moving to another country.

My American and UK friends are well versed and, as I approach the two year mark in my attempts at moving to Norway, I can say I have a better understanding of that truth in Norway.

The dirty, little secret is that not everyone will be a part of the "New Norway"

Just like in the aforementioned Anglo-phone countries, here in Norway, feelings on immigration tend to diverge with regards to members of the second/third worlds.  Unfortunately, it's a poor coincidence that this group (usually asylum seekers or just looking for a better life in economy-rich Norway) tends to be darker skinned and of a different ethnic/cultural background, linking Norwegians to the more unsavory elements of American/English culture.  

While it would be naive to think that these thoughts aren't present here in Norway, it would be accurate to say that the revolting ideology of hate groups are in the complete, extreme minority (like, .09% of the population).  However, those that share in the fear of a loss of national/ethnic identity are quite high.

I get it.

Being Norwegian is like a very select club of people who survived various periods of being invaded, invading others, emigration, and a bunch of plain, old bad luck.  I can't describe just how contemptuous Norwegians find Americans claiming kinship on the backs of forefathers (well, not all Norwegians feel this way).

Norwegians feel special and unique and that, with the pressing and invasion of globalization and various EEA agreements, they can feel those traits being warped and diluted.  With the economic downturn throughout most of Europe that Norway has survived and thrived through, that precarious feeling of self is being threatened by waves of Mediterranean jobseekers in addition to the usual groups.

One of the usual groups that incur the most wrath and judgement would be the Romani people.

Originating from the fringes of the EU allows the largely nomadic group more freedom (visa stay restrictions?  What visa stay restrictions?) than non-EEA country people (yes, this includes yours truly as well as citizens from other 1st world countries such as Canada, Australia, and New Zealand) to come to Norway.

The popular legend goes that droves of Romani come to Norway where they beg on street corners and hustle for cans (returning cans gives you significantly more than it does in select states, here is a great post about it).  They're organized by bosses that rotate and instruct them on how to look sad and needy. Meanwhile, other groups roam the countryside in large RVs looking for unattended cottages and homes to rob.

While this may be true on some level (the best part of the can collection is that every cookout in a park comes with a dutiful attendant eager to take your empty can), it can't possibly be the whole story.  

I did some research.

Norway isn't even a top ten destination for Romani (btw, America has the most with a little over one million.  Sweden with 50,000 has the largest population in Scandinavia) nor does it have the most contentious relationship (Keep it classy, Italy).  While there has been some rough areas, there largely seems to be just a "boogie man" used by society as a scapegoat for the big fear that looms over everything.  Change.

The world is changing.  There are more internationals pouring in to the major cities of the world every day.  Half of Oslo is constantly under construction creating new buildings and skyscrapers to house the ever-expanding large firms.  With prosperity and blessings come expectations and demands.  It should be noted that the Norwegian state does more than its part around the world, the average citizen can not be as selfless.  I may not be the best person to judge, but there is a disconnect between "Doing the right thing" and "Making sure there is a plan in place to maintain quality of life".  Which may be the reason the current majority party may lose next month's elections (among other reasons).  People want to feel guaranteed of the future despite the known logic that such a promise is impossible.

While I'm not advocating that the Romani are blameless (I've seen the vans drop off disheveled women.  I've seen the older men lecturing young girls on how to look more pathetic) and/or innocent (Dude, how you gonna be on your cell phone when you're begging for money?), the distrust of certain foreigners plays a role here.  As does the inability to formulate the place for old ideals and beliefs in a modernizing world.  It's not that the ways of the past have failed us or were wrong, they just apply to a life that may be impossible to live anymore (which may contribute to Norwegians obsession with nature).  

Or I could be completely wrong and Norway just needs to invest in more policemen and border control.

ALT FOR NORGE

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Catching Up and the path to Norwegian-ness

Wow... It's been 26 days since I last checked in (really, like 1.5 months since a real post).

It's been a summer.

As I'd previously noted, it was "Adult Summer Break" here in Norway which means that, for the majority of July, most Norwegians have either reduced working hours or off altogether (often a combination of the two).

I detailed most of my exploits in the last post and have been back to "life" for a few weeks ago.

So "Why no posts?" you may ask.  Well, it's hard to say because there's not really much I care to say.

If you do a quick google of "expat blogs", what you'll find is a plethora of personal diatribes that are, frankly, boring.  While a lot of my posts probably shade to that realm, I try to at least put together universal experiences that are either entertaining (beer festivals with the awesome Dutch!) or are written to appear as so (haircuts!).

So yeah, I'm not writing unless I have something I wish to share or someone asks me a question ("Hey, bro.  Is Norway a communist country?"  False.) 

My new favorite dessert!

I am now a resident (temporary) of Norway.

For those of you who are reading this and notice that this blog is almost two years old will probably be perplexed by that statement.  

Let me back-up.

I originally came to Norway on a Job Seekers exemption.  Which, as far as I can tell, is fancy language to explicitly mark the difference between non-EU/EEA countries.  People from developed, western nations, ok;  Everyone else, follow the "Apply-for-a-visa-wait-for-the-visa-come-here-for-three-months-return-home-poorer" process.

After my six months were up and I was unemployed, I returned to the Good, Ol' US of A.  No worries there (Unless you attended my "Going Away Party", then it was just awkward).  After another six months of bouncing around (the specifics aren't really important), I finally did the whole "Shucks, why don't we get married, I guess" romanticism with the girlfriend.

She said "meh... ok"

Artist rendering of her response to my proposal

And what followed was a eight month game of "send-us-the-paperwork-will-check-it-approval-it-change-our-mind-require-you-to-get-more-paperwork-tentatively-approve-it-make-you-go-to-a-dozen-different-offices-for-signing-off-and-stamping-not-to-mention-those-offices-are-poorly-run-and-smell-like-what-I-imagine-Asmara-and-Islamabad-smell-like" with a lot of old school waiting in-between.

The one bonus was that I was able to wait out the response here in Norway as opposed to America (though, its not like that was a huge bonus as I wasn't really eligible/allowed to work in Norway).

However, in the end, here we are.  I have a handy dandy card and, in a couple weeks, I'll be wearing a ring for the rest of my life or something like that.

Oh, and I found more Americans here and I still haven't caught a fish in Oslo yet.

The Fjord is barren.

Alt for Norge

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Letter home from Norwegian Summer (camp)

Dear Mom and Dad,

Sorry for not writing more lately, I've been caught up in the summer.

Where to begin?

Well, for starters, I passed on a trip down the coast to watch boats and eat ice cream so I could write this.  It wasn't a popular decision, but I had to catch you up on everything.

There was camping in the Oslo fjord.  It was great!  If you were on Facebook, you could see my photo albums, but I'll include some here.

The fishing didn't go so well.  It took me about three, different outings to figure out how to catch actual fish and not just seaweed.

But the swimming has been fun.  It started with the water being really cold!  Like 15 Celsius (59 Fahrenheit), but, in the last few weeks, its been up to 21 (69 Fahrenheit).  Which is pretty cool.  Not so cool is that most of the beaches are rocky and don't have the easiest exit strategies.

Of course, there have been a few nights out.

But, uhmm, there was also a field trip to the old harbor town of Skudeneshavn.

The crown jewel of this old town is the old, foghorn factory which is now a store... which doesn't sell foghorns. 

I know this letter is lacking in substance, but it's hard with the great weather outside.

See you again in August!  Until then, sun only sun!

Sincerely,

Son #2

Alt for Norge

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Independence Day in Norway

It feels very appropriate that the last post I wrote delved into the issue of "American-ness" as this one falls on the actual, definitive day of America.

237 years strong(ish)!

Here's to the future!  (Despite the fact it looks an awful lot like the past)

So... what's an expat to do on his country's national day?  The same thing they'd do if they were home!

Grill out and party for the red, white, and blue like there's no tomorrow!

Unfortunately, the weather didn't get the memo.

It has been raining for two days straight now.

Oh well.  Sounds like good weather for this weekend so we'll have to get it in then!

Happy 4th to all my American readers from Norway!  Alas, there's at least one American who won't be joining the party in Norway.

Alt for Norge and God Bless America

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